The Humming Surgeon of Konohagakure
by yurei king
Summary: A random discovery leads to Naruto gaining terrifying power, a new set of particular skills and various new allies. Join our lovable knucklehead on his journey to fame, infamy, action and a dash of comedy all while keeping track of a classy straw hat and humming our favorite pirate tune.
1. Chapter 1

**Greetings everyone, and welcome to the new version of one of my earlier works. As you may have noticed I have changed the title much like one of my other stories. Once again I say welcome to the first chapter of: The Witch Doctor of Konohagakure.**

 **For the most part things in the beginning are the same, just some polished work and a bit more detail in certain parts. Hope you enjoy and now…ON WITH THE CHAPTER!**

 **Chapter One: Finding an Ancient Treasure**

" **Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"**

The shout echoed throughout the chasm and was accompanied a cloud of smoke erupting from under the outstretched hand of the boy who had given it voice. The massive cloud spread to fill the boy's vision, and from within he could see a shadow forming. A startled grunt was heard before four limbs, each as large and thick as the trunk of a tree and covered in a skin seen most commonly on that of amphibian animals, shot out from within the cloud to slam into the spiked walls of the gorge.

The orange-clad blond that had called the creature forth fell onto a cloth covered back and moved to see what it was. When the smoke cleared the monster in all its glory was exposed. The boy found himself sitting on the back of a massive toad with skin colored a rusted red with brighter red stripes. Running vertically down the left side of his face and over the bright yellow eye that sat there, was a deep scar. Clenched between its lips was a kiseru and he wore a blue happy coat. At his waist hung a tanto about fifty times the summoner's height in blade length alone.

For a moment all was still, only the sound of the giant toad's heavy breathing and falling rocks disturbed by its method of halting their downward momentum. **"What the hell is this?"** a deep rumbling voice blasted from the throat of the summoned beast. **"Where am I?"**

The boy, known by his village to be the ever-infamous Naruto Uzumaki, was frozen in shock. _'I...it worked,'_ he thought. _'I actually managed to summon one!'_

Naruto was on the verge of dancing for joy, but the toad had other plans. The blonde was forced to grab onto the collar of the toad's blue coat when said amphibian threw back his head to glare at the top of the gorge they were stuck in. **"JIRAIYA! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? WHAT IS THE MEENING OF SUMMONING ME HERE?"**

 **XXX – With Jiraiya – XXX**

"Crap," said pervert whispered, backing up from the edge. The veteran shinobi cautiously stepped back, allowing the foliage to envelope him and disappearing into the forest. "I never thought he'd summon him of all the toads. You really know how to cause trouble don't yah kid?"

 **XXX – Back at the Main Plot – XXX**

When several moments passed and no answer was provided the toad threw his head and shoulders forward, forcing the blonde riding atop that area to be sent rolling violently and coming to a halt just barely on the tip of the beast's nose. Golden, angry eyes focused on the orange-clad genin. **"Hey gaki,"** Naruto jerked to attention for a moment, startled that he was being called out. **"Where's Jiraiya? Why has he summoned me?"**

"Uh...who's Jiraiya?" This was apparently the wrong thing to say as it served to only agitate the amphibian further.

" **Do not play dumb with me gaki! I'm not in a good mood and it's only going to get worse unless you tell me where I kind find that infernal brat that so stupidly refers to himself as the Toad Sage?"**

Naruto scratched his head. "Well I don't know his name, but I think you're talking about the Pervy-sage."

The toad's eyes narrowed at the blonde's words. **"Oh really? Well I have a few things to discuss with that pervert. He's got a lot of gall to summon me to such a place."**

Naruto frowned. "Actually, I'm the one that summoned you," he said, cutting off the giant amphibian before he could go on a rant. The red-skinned beast stared at the orange-clad blond for several moments, then his eyes closed and he began to shake. Thinking something was wrong Naruto was about to speak, only for the toad to burst into roaring laughter.

" **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! G-good one gaki! HAHAHAHA!"** he said. **"I haven't laughed that hard in years! There's no way a scrawny little runt like you could possibly summon the chief of the toads. Heck someone your size would probably die from chakra exhaustion just trying to summon one of our Toad Warriors."**

Naruto scowled and was about to give a rather rude comment on his part, but a little voice in his head interrupted him. ** _'Say what you're thinking and I'll make your life hell.'_**

' _Kyubi?'_ the blond asked.

If they were facing each other the boy would have sworn he'd see the fox give him a deadpan expression. **_'No it's the other voice in your head, OF COURSE IT'S ME YOU MORON!'_**

' _What do you want?'_

' ** _You're not even gonna asked how I pulled this off?'_** That sounded almost like…a pout?

Still wanting to play it cool Naruto shrugged _. 'Nah figured you'd get all high and mighty and brag about it anyway.'_

'… ** _...'_**

' _I was right wasn't I?'_

' ** _Shut up, and I used the pulse of my chakra to forge a connection between our minds. Now on to more important matters...do not insult this guy. Do you know who you're standing on right now?'_**

' _No.'_

' ** _I figured. Listen, that is Gamabunta, chief of the Toad Tribe. He was capable of temporarily immobilizing me during my attack on your village. This is the most powerful of the toads you can summon and it'd be a good idea to be polite...keep in mind we're still hanging in a gorge a few hundred feet in the air with his help.'_**

' _Good point.'_ Naruto sighed and turned his eyes back to the now identified Gamabunta, who was sending him a heated glare for ignoring him. "Look, I'm a special case. Trust me, I've got the chakra to summon you, my name's Naruto Uzumaki, and it's nice to meet you Toad Boss Gamabunta."

The golden, bar-pupilled eyes of the boss widened slightly. From the expression he'd seen a second ago he was expecting a rant or something…it was actually a nice surprise. **"So Jiraiya told you about me,"** the toad mused, only for Naruto to shake his head.

"No, I heard from a different source," he answered, subconsciously rubbing the area where his seal was. Gamabunta's eyes narrowed at the motion.

" **You said your name was Naruto** ** _Uzumaki_** **?"** When the boy nodded the toad hummed in thought. **"Interesting, so I'm guessing that pervert had you sign our contract. Well, just because you summoned me doesn't mean you're clear to call us out whenever you want."**

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, sitting down on the toad's nose.

" **I have to test whether or not you're worth our time. If we have a summoner who can't even fend for himself he could get my kin into some serious trouble and could even get them killed. If you don't pass then I'll take your name off the contract and that's the last you'll hear about it."**

"What's the test?"

" **You have to stay on top of my head until sunset. Now hold on, I'll take us up to the top so we can start."**

Naruto nodded and jumped up to hold onto the collar of Gamabunta's jacket. The boss toad grunted as he bunched up the muscles in his powerful legs. It was then that Naruto looked down and something caught his eye. "Hey, boss."

" **What is it?"**

"There's something down there."

" **Where?"**

"At the bottom, look down you should be able to see something, it looks like some sort of building."

Listening to his summoner's request the giant amphibian looked down and saw something he could not, for the life of him, understand how it had gotten there. **"Why on earth would a brig sloop be here of all places?"** he muttered. A cloud of thick, tobacco heavy smoke, slipped out of the side of his mouth as he stared down at the subject of his newborn curiosity. ** _'This could be interesting,'_** he thought. **"Gaki. Slight change of plans, we'll be postponing our test until later. We should check this out so hold on tight cuz we're going straight for the ground floor."**

"What do yo-" Naruto started to ask but ended up screaming when Gamabunta let go of the walls and sent them crashing into the ground. "WHAT THE HELL CHIEF?"

" **Calm down, don't get your underwear in a bind,"** he growled **. "It might be interesting to see what's inside that thing. Listen gaki, I'm obviously too big to get in there so you have to hop down. I'll stay here but since it's better to have a bit of backup, so I want you to try to summon another of my kin."**

Naruto furrowed his brown and sent a confused glance to the giant amphibian. "I thought you had to test me first."

" **Well, you're being requested by the boss of the toads to do a job,"** Gamabunta replied. **"So I guess we can overlook that for now. Still, it's good to see you at least you have some sense of honor for a bargain."** The toad chuckled, he was starting to like this blond brat. **"Think you got enough chakra left to summon another toad?"**

' _Kyubi?'_

The demon sighed. **_'I'll give you a little more,'_** he grumbled. **_'Just be sure to give that stupid sage a kick to the nuts after we're done.'_**

Naruto just chuckled as he felt the demon's powerful chakra course through him once again _. 'I was planning to do that anyway for trip down here.'_ Turning his attention back to the outside world he nodded. "I think I can pull off another one."

" **Good, perform the jutsu, but when you call out its name, also call out the name Gama. He's a little larger than you and should be able to easily maneuver the ship with you."**

Naruto nodded and bit his thumb. He waited a moment for the blood to well up on the tip of the appendage before beginning the short chain of handsigns and slamming his palm onto the top of Gamabunta's head. **"Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Gama!"**

A familiar burst of smoke later and Naruto found himself sitting on top of the very first toad he had ever seen the Pervy-sage summon when he knocked out that closest pervert Kakashi had asked to train him.

" **Greetings Naruto-san,"** the toad said cheerfully once the cloud was gone. **"How can I help you?"**

" **Spare the small talk for later Gama,"** the chief toad grumbled **. "Go with the gaki and keep an eye on him while he's taking a look at this little boat."**

Gama nodded and turned to the human that had summoned him. **"Naruto-san, climb onto my back. I can jump to the deck of the ship quite easily from here."**

Naruto smiled but shook his head. "Sorry Gama, but I'm not an official toad summoner yet. The chief got curious about this before he could test me so we haven't gotten that far. I think before I can ride on top of any toad, I should pass the test first."

The two amphibians were stunned at the blonde's words. To take the difficult route simply over a formality like the test is something they hadn't seen in a long time ** _. 'This kid gets more interesting the longer you're around him,'_** Gamabunta thought to himself. **"Alright gaki, since you're so bent on sticking to the guidelines I'll make you a road to the ship."**

The giant toad opened his mouth and out shot a long pink tongue that stretched all the way to from his mouth to the deck of the ship. "Thanks Chief Toad," the blond said, jumping on top of the pink muscle and running down it as fast as he could, Gama right beside him. They reached the deck in seconds and Gamabunta withdrew his tongue.

" **You two be careful, I'll wait out here until you come back out. Be quick about it."**

The two nodded before walking to the door leading to the lower decks. Naruto placed a hand on Gama's shoulder to stop him. "Wait a sec, for all we know this thing could be booby-trapped."

" **You're right Naruto-san,"** Gama replied, stepping away from the slab of wood. **"You may be young but you show considerable wisdom in such situations."**

Naruto smiled sheepishly. "Actually, the thing is I've been pranking the people in my village for years so I kind of got paranoid about traps. With everything I pulled back then it's probably expected."

Gama shrugged, experience is one of the best teachers as the saying goes, but he put it out of his mind and turned his thoughts to more relevant matters. **"Then how do you propose we go about with our investigation?"**

Naruto grinned and made the sign of his personal (and almost his only) technique. **"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"** Five poofs of smoke later and there stood six orange-clad blonds in place of the original one. One stepped back and addressed his creations. "Alright guys, you know what to do."

The clones nodded and stepped up to the door while the original and Gama stepped back. One clone grabbed the handle and pulled, only for the entire door to come off its hinges and almost crush it. The other clones acted fast to save it from an early demise, rushing forward to grab a side before it could crush their brother. The thick slab of wood was tossed aside and the clones filed in one at a time, leaving Naruto and Gama at the doorway.

" **Naruto-san, might I ask what your plan is?"**

"I made the clones with the idea that each one will pick a deck and explore, if there aren't five decks then they'd just help on another one. Then they can come back and tell us what they found."

Both Gama and the chief toad, who had been listening in, couldn't help but notice the wording of his statement. **_'Tell us? Does he not know about the advantage of the Kage Bunshin?'_**

"Well, we better relax while we can," Naruto said, sitting down on the deck of the ship and leaning against the wall. With a satisfied sigh he turned his gaze to upward to stare at the sky, so far above them now. The sun was shining down into the gorge, but they were so far down that all they saw was a dim glow, making it look like early morning.

It was quiet in the gorge, only the sound of Gamabunta's heavy breathing broke the silence that had begun to lull our blond hero into a state of content. Soon his eyes grew w heavy and he begun to slump over...only to snap awake and jump to his feet when an image of a large log slamming into his chest appeared in his mind. Had he been aware at the time he would have heard the loud thud echoing from within the hull at the same time. _'What was that?'_ he asked, directing the question to his tenant.

' ** _That, my young idiot of a host, was the memories of your bunshin coming back to you after dispelling.'_**

' _Wait what?'_

The Kyubi heaved a heavy sigh at his host's stupidity. **_'The memories of a Kage Bunshin return to their creator when they dispel. The reason you've failed to notice this little bit of information is because you use them in battle to become a one-man army so you integrate only little pieces of knowledge before they're dispelled and you're constantly having to change your position anyway so it's pointless to use like that.'_**

'… _...Oh.'_

' ** _Just shut up, your clone found something and then died because it wasn't paying attention. I know what route it was so get your butt moving and I'll guide you down there ok?'_**

Naruto just nodded before turning to the toad at his side. "One of my clones found something interesting, I think we should take a look."

" **Do you know the way?"** Gama asked.

Naruto smirked and poked his temple with his left hand. "Got the route right here."

' ** _No thanks to any effort on your half by the way.'_**

' _Shut up.'_

' ** _Make me.'_**

Naruto just sighed and stepped through the doorway into the hull of the ship. At the bottom of the steps he turned left then down another flight of steps. This happened twice more before the fox told him to take a right and then left again. When he turned the final corner, he found himself staring into a dark room. Cracks in the wall allowed a minimal light to pass through, revealing the outlines of nine tables inside.

Naruto moved to step inside, but stopped when Gama held an arm out in front of him, baring passage through the doorway. **"Wait, Naruto-san. It's too dark."** The toad turned around and picked up a large piece of wood and a piece of torn fabric, most likely a piece of sail canvas. He wrapped the canvas around one end of the block and stuck it in his mouth. When he drew it back out the canvas was dripping with a black liquid. **"By any chance, do you have something to make a fire?"** he asked his companion, who simply nodded and pulled out a small sealing scroll, from which he took some flint and steel. **"Good, light this please."**

In moments, Gama was holding a flaming torch that cast a harsh orange light and illuminated the room. Now able to see clearly, the duo stepped forward. They discovered the nine tables they had seen earlier were set like a clock face around a long, flat-topped chest bound by a heavy iron lock and reinforced with bands of iron wrapped around its wooden sides. Resting atop the lid of this chest was a large tome bound in rich, dark leather and marked with the symbol of a cheerfully grinning skull wearing a straw hat with a pair of bones making an "X" just beneath the chin.

Naruto glanced at his companion and pointed at the book. The amphibian nodded and they both cautiously stepped closer. The blonde's fingertips brushed against the worn leather of the cover, he could practically feel the care of the person who had owned it, even after so long and under a thick coating of dust the boy could tell the binding was in good condition. Well-oiled and flexible.

Finished admiring he opened the book to find a mostly blank page, save for some writing in the very middle.

' _Property of Nami, Cat Burglar, and Navigator of the Straw Hat Pirates'_

The blonde-haired genin gasped. Pirates, so far inland and he had found a ship that belonged to pirates...how cool was that? He excitedly turned the next page and began to read, aloud of course for the benefit of Gama.

' _If you are reading this then it means somebody finally found our last treasure. Well, congrats whoever you are because you now own everything here. There is a document in the book, sign it and everything should legally belong to you, now I already wrote my name on the first page but I'm Nami, the greatest cat burglar in all of the Grand Line and wife to the Pirate King, Straw-hat Luffy._

 _Inside this room you should find nine tables, eight of these hold the most treasured possessions of our crew, you can use them or give them away, whatever you wish. However, the ninth table holds one of our greatest treasures. Each member of our crew has a story and how we remember our journeys, the books you can find on that table contain those stories for you to read and enjoy._

 _Finally I need to tell you about the chest sitting here in the middle where you found this book of mine. This chest holds a treasure that can be extremely dangerous or helpful to you. I'm not sure if you've heard of them or not but in our time there existed a fruit known as the Akuma no Mi. These fruits were said to have been blessed or cursed with the power of the sea devil himself and any who ate them were granted incredible powers, but they came at a price._

 _Over the course of our journey together to achieve our dreams we encountered, battled and even befriended many who had eaten such fruits including Luffy's own brothers who managed to use the same fruit at different times but that's a story Luffy needs to tell so it's in his book if you wanna find out more._

 _So anyway, over time mortality caught up to us and we wanted to make sure the fruits of people we knew and those of our crew that ate them did not fall into the wrong hands. We took steps to make sure we got the new fruits when the eaters passed on and those fruits are what you will find stored here. Not all of them though…that would have taken a completely new vault, but we still managed to get some good ones. Well they're all yours now so be sure to use them wisely…also if you eat one don't eat another or you'll die in a very painful way._

 _Well, that's all for this note, the rest of this book is my log of the adventures our crew went on together so be sure to read that, especially if you need a good laugh cuz we went absolutely nuts a few times._

 _Take care and use our legacy well,_

 _Nami.'_

Naruto paused at the sound of sniffling behind him. He turned to find Gama wiping a tear from his eye. **"Forgive me Naruto-san,"** the toad said. **"I was just moved by the woman's written words. To hold so much trust in the future to leave such treasures behind, it is truly inspirational."**

' ** _Oh Kami give me a break,'_** Naruto heard the Kyubi say inside his mind. **_'This frog is actually crying like he just watched a soap opera!'_**

' _He's a toad you dumb fox…and what the heck is a soap opera?'_

' ** _Never mind kit. Trust me, you don't want to know.'_** The fox let felt an involuntary shiver go down his spine at the memory of how sickeningly emotional those programs could be. It made him want to vomit.

Naruto just assured his companion it was okay to find such words moving and then turned the page to find the will this person Nami had mentioned.

 _Whosoever finds this...the ship and all our stuff are yours so sign on the line at the bottom and it's done._

A large drop of sweat appeared on the side of the blonde's head at the blunt wording of the letter. "Well, it's something," he stated before pulling out one of the few sealing scrolls he kept on his person. He set the book down and unrolled the scroll until he found the section he was looking for and with a quick burst of chakra he was holding a brush and inkpot. A slight dip in the fresh ink and he was signing his name on the line marked for the benefactor.

" **Congratulations on obtaining your new property Naruto-san,"** Gama said. **"Might I suggest your first matter of business be to decide what to do with those fruits the lady mentioned in the note?"**

Naruto nodded, handing the book to his amphibious comrade and knelt down to get a look at the lock. _'Hmm…it looks pretty basic,'_ he mused. _'No rust so it probably won't break that easily but I may not have to do that at all.'_ Moving once more to the scroll he returned the brush and pot to their rightful place before moving a little further and unsealed his next set of tools. When the brief cloud of smoke dissipated there was a wide strip of leather rolled up and secured with a thing leather string resting in his palm. Setting the parcel on the deck he untied the string and unrolled it to reveal various tools all designed for the art of picking locks.

' ** _Never thought you'd have that kind of hobby,'_** the Kyubi commented as Naruto chose his picks and set about his chosen task.

' _Didn't you watch my childhood at all?'_

' ** _I spent most of our time together asleep. What with being ripped in half and all before I was sealed into you. Even I need a little time to recover after that.'_**

Naruto paused, his brow furrowed at that little tidbit of information. _'Ripped in half?'_

' ** _It's not important right now, just focus on picking that lock and finding out what the heck they have stored here. I wanna see these so called Akuma no Mi. Sounds to me like a whole bunch of hype.'_**

Naruto was about to utter his own reply to his cynical tenant but the soft click of the lock coming undone pulled his attention back to the matter at hand. Seeing the lock hanging freely he carefully returned his tools to their pouch and sealed that away before opening the chest to peer inside.

What he found was the oddest sight he had ever come across. The bottom and inner sides of the chest had been lined with a thick layer of soft crimson velvet. Into this lining someone had carefully sewn cushions to form separate sections within each of which rested the most peculiar fruits both the boy and his toad companion had ever seen.

The first one held the shape of a round ball that was slightly bigger than Naruto's fist. Its dark purple skin was littered with flowing swirls looking similar to multiple interlocking S's and from one end sprouted a green stem that spiraled in a fancy style. Embroidered into the velvet above it were the words: **Gomu Gomu no Mi** in fancy golden script.

The next fruit was labeled as the **Suna Suna no Mi** and it bore a similarity to the fruit Naruto recognized as a mango only it was colored a tan brown like the very material it was named after. It too also had a swirling design that Naruto was quick to realize was a trait shared by all the fruits stored in the chest. He could also see that it was resting atop a small spiral notebook, something he checked under the first fruit to find another that was a good deal thicker than the sand one. _'Maybe it tells what each fruit can do?'_

Shaking the urge to read one of them off until later, he moved on to the next fruit. This one was…well the only way Naruto could describe the thing was that it was a freaking heart. The same size and color as a normal peach this one was, if the label was anything to go by, the **Ope Ope no Mi**. Once again he found another notebook not quite as thick as the first one yet thicker than the second.

Curious he was just about to examine the next in line only for a shout that shook the entire ship and he was sure the area outside was suffering the same fate given its volume. **"GAKI! What's taking so long?"** Naruto jumped at the chief's sudden vocalization of irritation and pulled out two empty sealing scrolls. Without a moment's thought he spawned four clones and gave them said scrolls. As they set about sealing the contents of the room into the scrolls, each table going into a different spot in order to keep it organized, he reclosed the trunk and sealed the entire thing into its own scroll followed quickly by Nami's book and the signed document stating he was now the sole owner of the entire ship and contents therein. Once the room was empty, shinobi and summon returned to the deck to find Gamabunta glaring at them. **"It's about time. We've got around three hours until the sun goes down gaki, if you want to do our test today then we best get up to the top."**

Naruto nodded and jumped up to the top of the chief's head, Gama waved to the genin, bowed to his chief and returned to the home of the toads. Gamabunta crouched down, preparing to jump up. **"So, what'd you find?"**

"I'll tell you when we're done."

The toad chuckled **. "Well then, we'd best get started!"** With a tremendous burst of strength, the chief sent them both hurtling to the top of the gorge, easily clearing the top and crushing quite a few trees in the process of landing. **"Remember gaki, you gotta stay on top of my head till the sun goes down or you won't accept you as our summoner or my henchman!"**

Naruto laughed as he secured the scrolls carrying his new personal belongings and flexed his hands in preparation for this new endeavor. "I got it, now BRING IT!"

" **AS YOU WISH!"**

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

Some hours later, Jiraiya sat perched atop a cliff sipping from a saucer of sake as he watched the last few rays of the sun setting the sky ablaze. He glanced to his side to see Naruto sleeping peacefully next to him, the Toad Summoning Contract under his head like a makeshift pillow. "So what do you think chief?" he asked, turning to face Gamabunta. "Does he pass?"

The chief of the toad clan sipped from his own saucer which happened to be about the size and depth of a small pond, grinning as he stared at the unconscious blonde. **"He is a worthy summoner, just like his father was. Now what about what Gama said about that ship?"**

Jiraiya had summoned Gama only a few minutes before to hear about what had happened inside the ship at the bottom of the gorge. It was safe to say that the man was intrigued.

"Well, I'll have to take a look at this stuff, I'll take care of that when the kid wakes up. We'll talk about that fruit he found too. The first month is almost over so the boy has thirty days left before the exams."

The boss toad hummed in thought as he poured a refill into his saucer from a massive bottle. **"A sixty day period? That's odd."**

"Yeah, apparently the fighters are from all over so it's taking a little longer than usual for the guests of honor to arrive. A notice was sent out about a week ago saying the waiting time had been doubled."

" **Just means you got more time to get some training done,"** Gamabunta said, taking another sip from his cup. **"Well, I had best return, have the boy summon my two sons sometime. They could do well with a little time in the human world."**

"I will, see you soon old friend."

" **Be well Jiraiya, and drop by the mountain some time. Ma and Pa would love to have you over for dinner again."**

The chief toad disappeared in an explosion of smoke, leaving only his footprints and the destroyed landscape as the only evidence he was ever there. Jiraiya finished his saucer of sake and picked up his new apprentice. "I guess I better set up a tent," he mumbled. "Sleep well Naruto, because as soon as you're awake tomorrow we start the serious training."

 **And Cut!**

 **Alright, so I hope you all enjoyed it and look forward to Chapter 2 coming soon to an electronic device hopefully near you.**

 **Special thanks to Kamen Rider Arashi for his help, truly I would be even worse at this than I am already if not for him helping me demolish the confines of writer's block.**

 **Also, a special shout out to fellow writer MistaSilentKiller. He provided the idea for the mystery fruit which I am keeping in reserve until later when it can play a more significant role. When it does show up, I bet nobody will bet what it is exactly and will be hit right out of left field just like I was.**

 **There is more than one fruit left in that chest by the way…bet ya nobody's gonna guess what it is though! If you do I might tell you but then again maybe not. After all, where would the fun be if I didn't keep a few things in the dark?**

 **That's all I got boys and girls, ladies and gents, until next time: Yurei King signing out!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Greetings and Salutations readers. To newcomers I bid you welcome. To anyone actually sticking around after a year since I last published a chapter, your patience warms my heart and I love you all. Sorry you have to put up with my irregular updates. Really sorry for that by the way, life has been…interesting.**

 **Anyway, welcome to a new chapter. Returners might have noticed I changed the name again, but I thought it sounded better fitting than Witch Doctor and the reason I originally made it that changed anyway. Not going into it since last time I explained people said they weren't interested in why so I won't waste your time.**

 **That's all I got for right now so I'll go ahead and step back, let you move on to the story you've probably spent a while waiting for. Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 2: Choices**

The scent of fresh food tickled at his nose, the cry of his body for nutrition finally managing to pull the young blonde from the land of dreams and back into the realms of consciousness. His eyelids drew back to allow the cerulean orbs beneath to gaze at the peaked roof of the small tent he had been placed in. A few rays of morning light lanced into those exposed eyes immediately from the open tent flaps and a small grunt of discomfort alerted the man cooking over the campfire. "About time you got up gaki," Jiraiya called without even looking up from the eggs cooking on the skillet in front of him. "Get out here and start eating we're burning time I could be using to get you into shape."

Naruto's grumbling and muttered curses were ignored as he scooped the freshly cooked eggs into a small metal plate to join the sausages he'd already prepared. Without a word the genin, and hopefully soon-to-be chunin, pulled himself from the sleeping role he'd been wrapped in and stumbled his way toward the delicious smell. He dropped like a sack of potatoes onto the ground within arm's reach and happily accepted the plate when offered. Even though it wasn't his favorite meal the blonde tucked in with vigor, the food vanishing as if by magic the fork in his hand moved so fast.

"I'm guessing you're not used to chakra exhaustion," the sage quipped as he lifted a metal pitcher from where it had sat in the coals, pouring the dark liquid brewing within into two mugs. Setting one next to his still eating pupil and keeping the other for himself he sat down on a log he'd placed near the fire earlier that morning across from him. "Physical exhaustion maybe but with those reserves of yours I'd say you've rarely ever gotten low enough to feel the effects of that particular issue."

Swallowing his newest mouthful Naruto paused before he could take in the next to shake his head. "Not really, I've trained till I drop but every morning I'm fresh and ready to go again. But today I'm still a little off."

"After using up all the chakra you could on those clones and then summoning Gamabunta of all the toads I'd be downright jealous if you didn't at least feel a little tired the next morning," the man guffawed at the thought. "That's not even including going through the toad clan's initiation to be accepted as a summoner. It took me a couple tries to stay on the boss' back for the allotted time." Chuckling at the memories of that little debacle he sipped at his drink, enjoying the slight bitter bite as it washed over his taste buds. When he looked back to his student it was to find him looking at his own cup's contents with a furrowed brow. Guessing at his issue he explained. "It's coffee, figured you could use a little pick-me-up after yesterday. It's a little bitter but not bad. Just be careful to sip it, I've had it brewing in the fire so it's bound to be a bit hot still."

Naruto nodded and took his first sip, grimacing slightly at the taste which set the watching sage to chuckling. They shared a moment of quiet between them as the teen finished off his meal, the fire crackling merrily between them. Eventually the plate was emptied a third time and set aside while the two sipped at their coffee. That was when Jiraiya moved on to the important topic.

"Gamabunta and I talked with Gama after you passed out last night," he began, secretly happy to see the serious expression the genin adopted the moment he finished speaking. "He told us about what you two found down there and I've gone through your sealing scroll. Skimmed a couple of the journals, some pretty heavy stuff in there but what stood out to me a lot was what they had to say about those fruit."

Setting the now empty mug to the side he leaned forward and stared directly into Naruto's eyes, all signs of the jovial pervert falling away to show the highly experienced shinobi he kept hidden just beneath the surface. "I want you to understand right now that unless you trust them completely you are under no circumstances to tell anyone about those things. Am I understood?"

"Why can't I tell anyone about them? Sure, they're handy but what is so bad about other people knowing?"

Jiraiya sighed. "Because each and every one of them have the potential of tipping the scales of a battle. Even that rubber one, if anything they wrote down about their adventure is true that thing could create a one-man army killer. That sand fruit can wipe out an entire ecosystem if mastered and one of em seems like it could let whoever ate it cut through anything like a hot knife through butter. They're not just fruit Naruto, they're weapons and if any of the kage found out they existed they'd be coveted on par with a jinchuriki to the point I'd bet money they'd stoop to slitting your throat without hesitation to get just one of em let alone the whole set."

Naruto swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry at the intense atmosphere between the two. Finally, he managed to speak. "Alright, I swear not to tell anyone unless I trust them completely." But then something else clicked in his mind and he frowned again. "But what was that thing you said, jin something?"

A white eyebrow arched at that sudden deviation from the topic before they both bunched together when he processed the question. "Jinchuriki, you've never heard that before?" When Naruto shook his head Jiraiya sighed heavily a ran a hand through his wild hair. "It's the term people made for a host of one of the biju, like you. A human sacrifice to keep a demon at bay."

"So, there are more than just the Kyubi?"

"There are nine in total, each with tails numbering from one to nine and almost all of them are 'owned'-" he raised his hands to mimic the quotation marks for that last word, showing how much truck he had when it came to owning a being of raw power like one of the nine "-by the five major villages existing today. Although the Nanabi is sealed into a kunoichi from a village called Takigakure. They're one of our allies and actually quite capable when it comes to stealth and water-based techniques. That and their village is damn near impossible to locate by usual means though I have managed to infiltrate a few times. Anyway, we're getting off topic, we need to talk about what you found and how we'll be handling your training for the next month."

"Whoa hold up, month? I thought the exam finals were next week!"

"One of the Hokage's messengers stopped by a week ago while you were summoning tadpoles. There's been a month extension since a few of the big names planning to attend wouldn't have been able to make it by the original show date." It was here that a broad grin began to spread across the sage's features. "That means we have thirty more days to get your rough edges polished off. But first, are you planning on eating one of those fruits?"

Naruto frowned, scratching at his cheek as he thought about it. He hadn't looked at all of them but just from their names and the little Jiraiya said about them told the genin they would be a handy tool. "Well you said yourself they'd be a powerful weapon in the right hands and we are shinobi so we should never turn down an advantage." He considered his options a little longer but when he looked up to see his teacher's expression it was like reading a blank slip of paper. It seemed Jiraiya wanted him to consider this decision without anything beyond his initial input. Needless to say, beyond his pranks Naruto was not used to thinking things through, he was naturally brimming with excessive amounts of energy, making him impulsive and quick to act and react. That ability to think on the fly had its advantages, as evidenced by how he managed to free Kakashi during the first encounter with Zabuza, but this was not a time for rash improvisation. Finally, he shook his head.

"I don't know enough about them to pick one so I can't eat one right now," he said. "Maybe when I've gotten time to actually read them I will."

While he did not give any indication of his innermost thoughts, Jiraiya was actually impressed by his newest pupil's ability to think. _'It's still an untested skill I'm going to need to work at and sharpen,'_ he mused to himself as he thought over the answer he'd been given. _'But it's a start in the right direction.'_ Out loud his reply was a nod. "I'm glad you actually thought that through instead of just diving in head first like a typical civilian child. But I think you overlooked a minor detail. I told you I'd been going over the books you got, including the books describing those fruit. Which means I might have an idea on what would be a good fit for you."

When Naruto cursed himself for not thinking of that Jiraiya couldn't hold back his amused snort. It was like looking in a mirror and seeing a blonde version of his younger self. "Take it as a chance to learn from experience and let's move on. Yes, I do have an idea for what would be a good one to use. It's that heart-shaped one, the Ope Ope no Mi." Reaching into his robe he drew out a leather-bound book with an image of the fruit in question embroidered into its front. "This is the book written by the guy who used it last. He's pretty thorough, listing both advantages and disadvantages of using it. I'll leave this for you to get the full picture but it gives you almost complete control of an area with you at the center, you can cut, rearrange and manipulate close to everything in that area to some degree. That alone is a powerful tool for someone in our profession," he paused to set the book down, pulling out a new one marked with a laughing skull over a musical note, crossed violin bows under it in a unique version of a typical jolly roger. "If you combine its powers with the kenjutsu style used by the man who wrote this book...it'll be beyond deadly."

He handed both books over to the blonde before reaching back behind the log to lift a long purple cane from where it had been placed on the ground. "This is the weapon used by that man." Seeing his audience of one was sporting an incredibly underwhelmed expression he smirked and placed a hand on the crook of the item in question. "Don't be so quick to judge on appearance gaki." With a slight pull the handle began to slide up, a gleaming double-edged blade rising from the hollowed sheath. "It can get you killed real quick if you do. This is what is called a shikomizue. It's a decent blade, flexible but strong enough to take a beating and its edge is incredibly sharp. It's a bit longer than any I've encountered before but not so long it's going to be unmanageable either, at least when you hit that growth spurt you've been talking about." He ignored the death glare that last comment earned with an ease granted by years of long practice in such endeavors. His piece said, he returned the blade to its sheath and leaned it against the log he was sitting on before rising to his feet, stretching his arms out and leaning backwards until a few pops were heard running up his back.

"Don't decide too quickly, I'm going to be working on your new property for a bit so read a bit from both books and get an idea for what they're talking about. There's coffee left in the can if you feel like having some more, come find me when you've made a decision."

Naruto nodded woodenly, looking over the first book's cover before seeming to realize something. "Wait, new property?"

"Yeah, you signed that paper saying you owned that ship down in the gorge, right?" He got a nod to confirm that was, indeed, the case. "Well I may be good but I can't move an entire ship, especially one that size, to the top of a cliff so I figure we can make it a new personal training ground just for you." He frowned in sudden thought. "Though you may need a house up here nearby so you don't have to trudge all the way back to the village right after you're done using the training area. I'll think on that one later. For now, I'm going to give the place a look over now that I've got some daylight to work with. You should take the time to study and make a choice like I've already said. Enjoy!"

With his peace spoken, he spun on geta-clad feet and walked toward what Naruto assumed would be the direction of the gorge he had only the day before been knocked into. Just before he could disappear into the foliage surrounding them he stopped. "Oh yeah one last thing, that messenger also mentioned that Sarutobi-sensei is starting up a new tradition for the finals, a breakfast meal the morning of the finals. All finalists, their teams and the visiting Kage are invited. So, I'm going to be covering a few things about proper etiquette when rubbing elbows with the top brass so look forward to that." The irony of a man who outright claims to be a super pervert discussing a topic like dining etiquette was not lost on said pervert, but he had been trained to adapt to various situations as a mission requires by the Sandaime, a man toted as the Professor and Kami no Shinobi. Jiraiya had learned to seamlessly integrate himself into almost any environment be it the seediest bar in a red-light district of a port city or a Daimyo's dinner table.

It was a needless point to mention Naruto's lack of enthusiasm for such practices and thus not one he chose to devote any sort of mental attention toward at that moment in time. Shaking his head, he put such thoughts to the back of his mind for now and looked at the book in his hand, running his thumb over the embroidery as he considered his options.

' _ **It wouldn't hurt to at least read over the material,'**_ the Kyubi chose that moment to voice his opinion on the matter. _**'After all what harm could come from reading a book?'**_

Chuckling at the comment from his roommate Naruto opened the book, immediately stopping to study the drawing that adorned the first page. It was a sketch of a man sitting on a box of some kind, elbows resting on his knees as he seemed to stare straight at whoever looked upon him. Resting against his left shoulder was a sword that must've easily been as tall as its darkly dressed owner, marked by a line of white crosses up the visible side disappearing beneath a wrap near the top where an oval tsuba rested, its fur-lined edge adding a rather eye-catching aesthetic quality to the already unique weapon. The illustrated man's lips were quirked into a confident smirk, the artist's skill easily managing to show the self-assured air the subject matter seemed to radiate. "Trafalgar D. Water Law," he read the name written beneath the picture aloud, studying the person who he could only deduce was the subject of the book itself. "Guy sure makes an impression, the tattoos are a nice touch."

' _ **Planning to get some of your own?'**_ the boy laughed at the Kyubi's inquiry. _**'If you decide to go the open jacket route like the human in the picture a heart like his would be a truly eye-catching piece.'**_

"Yeah it would be that," he spoke his answer before frowning. "Hey, can I think stuff to you? If I keep talking to you out loud it's going to make people think I'm nuts or worse."

' _ **Indeed,'**_ the fox responded after a moment's reflection. _**'Having the weak minded fools you call civilians catching onto our communication would be, to borrow a term from your lazy colleague, troublesome. Humans always do react foolishly when they are fearful, which they would become. Try it.'**_

' _How's this?'_

He heard the fox hum in thought. _**'It seems to work, though you will need to practice until you don't need to concentrate so much in order to do so. A few seconds is an eternity in battle which would leave you open should we need to communicate urgently.'**_

' _Then I guess it's a good thing we have almost a whole month to practice. But for now, we should focus on the task in hand.'_ Naruto nodded and turned the page.

This is the log of the adventures of Trafalgar Law, Captain of the Heart Pirates and Ally of Strawhat Luffy

To you who is reading this I bid a good day and welcome you to sit and read my story. It is, at times, a sad tale of loss of both hope and direction but also one of adventure and life lessons which I hope to pass on to a future generation. I have also included in the back of this log a guide on learning to use the power of the Ope Ope no Mi, my devil fruit and a truly handy one given my interest in medicine.

If you have begun reading is after eating that fruit, then first off, I shall offer my condolences regarding the taste. It is a rather harrowing experience but afterward I can say with experience that you won't really have as much of a problem being picky regarding food. If you haven't eaten the fruit yet, brace yourself and try to muscle through. The powers given in exchange, if handled correctly, can offer quite the advantage in combat.

But knowledge on my abilities will be explained later, some during my story telling and the rest covered in the guide. I have included a second book which consists of notes I made throughout my life in regards to using them if you wish to examine my process in developing the techniques. Who knows? Perhaps you'll develop a few of your own along the way.

I have one last thing to touch on before I truly begin my story, however, and wish to address it now. Unless you currently or intend to possess extensive knowledge of anatomy then you will never unlock the full potential of the Ope Ope no Mi. In an effort to ensure such is available, I have worked extensively with the brilliant doctor of the Strawhat Crew, one Tony Tony Chopper, in order to transcribe our medical knowledge into a collection of medical journals. Medicine, anatomy, strains of bacteria and other such all have been addressed and should be sealed in special containers in the ship's library.

Eat the fruit or not, I do hope my experience provides you with some manner of advice when continuing on whatever your chosen path. I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely, Trafalgar Law.

' _ **Well he certainly made sure to give you the capabilities for an informed decision,'**_ the Kyubi voiced his opinion as Naruto lowered the book to his lap, thinking over his words regarding the fruit. _**'What do you think?'**_ The chakra beast had caught on fast to what Jiraiya had gently prodded his host into doing with bringing up the fruit in the first place. A two-pronged plan of making sure the boy actually considered his actions while also providing an extra skill to help him survive in this harsh world. All the while making it seem like just simple curiosity regarding his intentions. It was a decent teaching tactic, he would admit.

While the fox was grudgingly admitting to a somewhat decent show of skill by the older man, the blonde learning under said man was reading over the brief letter again. _'It definitely sounds powerful,'_ he thought his reply. _'But why would knowing anatomy be so important? And this guy used that really tall sword, why does Ero-sennin want me to use the other one?'_ Staring at the item in question he sighed. _'I think we'll have to skip over his story for right now and just read up on the fruit.'_

When the fox voiced his agreement, Naruto began flipping through the pages, stopping now and then when a picture caught his eye. A few minutes of careful perusal eventually ended when a new title page around two thirds of the way through the book. Scrawled across the otherwise blank paper in Law's neat script was the name of the fruit. Glad to have reached his goal the reader turned it without hesitation to be greeted by another drawn picture, two actually.

The first illustration was of a hand, Law's judging by the tattoos on his knuckles, held palm up and fingers splayed out as if he were holding a ball or melon. Hovering above his palm was the outline of a sphere. "This is the opening move for many of the techniques an eater of the Ope no Mi will use," was written just below it. The next image was a full body drawing of Law at a slight distance now standing within the outline of a clear dome. "I called the technique Room as it created an area for me to influence and as I am a doctor it helped me to envision the space as if it were an operating room. Should you wish to give it its own name that is your prerogative, as long as it helps you to create the effect required to use the power than it is sufficient. But there is something I must first explain, the powers of the fruit itself." Naruto was quick to turn the page.

"All devil fruits are classified into three major categories: Logia, the rarest and considered by majority to be the most powerful, in which the eater becomes a living embodiment of an element. Zoan, which allows the eater to take on the body and abilities of an animal. Those who eat this class commonly have three forms they can take which are their base human body, the full transformation into the animal granted by the fruit, and a halfway stage creating a were-creature. Finally, there is the class into which the Ope no Mi is sorted, Paramecia. This class grants the most varied abilities, some of which appear simple, such as an ability to communicate with animals, to the outright deadly ability to create a vast array of poisons which leaves death in their wake. The greatest factor in the overall capabilities of a devil fruit power is the mind of the person using it. If they are creative and capable of adapting to situations then it can be a powerful advantage. This also applies to the Ope no Mi. "

"The most basic explanation for my fruit's given abilities is control. I can create an area and, with a medium such as a blade, dissect almost anything in that space. I can switch locations of objects such as if someone threw a knife at me I could make it switch with anything of equal size inside my 'Room.' The things I cut I can put together in so many different ways. An example is when I created centaur-like creatures on the island of Punk Hazard. I took men who had been crippled, unable to walk at all, and after cutting them at the waist within my area of influence I connected their separated bodies to those of animals granting them new legs.

"Another aspect, one I have never shared with any among my crew or allies, is the feedback from 'Room.' A gift I gained when I managed to fully master its uses was that when activated, I found myself able sense the location of everything at once, which took a great deal of getting used to at first. Every piece of dirt, every stone, every drop of blood and piece of bone in the bodies of the organisms around me, I could feel them all. This combined with the ability to control gives me as close to complete control of a battlefield as possible. When in battle with my crew I would spread my Room as far as necessary, moving them where best able to inflict the maximum possible damage to our adversaries and aiding in avoiding damage when possible."

' _ **If this is what that perverted buffoon training you read then I can see why he considered this a good power for you.'**_

' _Why is that?'_ Naruto turned a page, reading about some of the first techniques Law had created.

' _ **That man with the cursed eye you call Kakashi, he was insistent on teamwork your first day of training. Imagine what your team could do with you using this power. Or just you and your clones. This 'Takt' skill he is describing here on this page, imagine cutting chunks of the ground into platforms and floating them around. Others can bounce off of them or you could use them to switch someone into an advantageous position.'**_

Looking over the proposed scenario in his mind's eye, Naruto had to admit it was a fitting one given his so-called sensei's harping in the subject. One thing Naruto knew was that he had a L-O-T of chakra and thus was able to create literal armies of himself as easily as someone else might breathe. If he used the power of this fruit and was able to use that many clones...he'd have almost complete control of the battlefield. 'In the area I can control anyway,' he thought as he came across a section explaining that once the Room was established it would not move. 'That means I'd need to find a way to keep my enemies inside my area if I want to have the advantage.' Sighing to himself he closed the book and set it aside. _'So...I like it. What's your opinion?'_

' _ **I don't see why my opinion would matter to your skill set at all,'**_ was the fox's careful answer. _**'I am just your prisoner after all.'**_

' _He says after making a running commentary on the human's reading material,'_ Naruto's patented sarcastic reply was immediate and instinctual. It even managed to earn a huff in reluctant amusement from the beast before he continued with his real thought. _'But in all honesty, we're stuck together. Seeing as letting you out will kill me I'm not in a hurry to take that seal off and you probably don't want to die so you've got at least some interest in my survival. Thus, I repeat, we're stuck in this situation so I figure we make the most of it. Partner.'_

' **...'**

'…'

' **...'**

' _...'_

A deep sigh drifted in the back of the teenager's mind. It seemed to just emanate frustration...but there was a hint of amused resignation to it, if only just barely perceivable to the unpracticed observer his host happened to be. _**'If we're going to do this you need to start eating something more substantial than just ramen every day.'**_

Blue eyes blinked. That was...an odd turn of conversation. _'What for?'_

' _ **You've seen how quickly you can heal right? That's your own genetics combined with my chakra, it heightens your metabolism and regenerative ability. The problem is that your body needs fuel and those noodles do provide some energy to burn but the lack of protein and other important materials is leaving you stunted growth wise. I will not tolerate living inside a midget. My host needs to be intimidating on the field of battle, standing above his adversaries and leaving them trembling just at the sight of his shadow!'**_

Naruto's expression appeared to be trying to fall into an even more severe deadpan than it was currently sporting. _'Dramatic much?'_ He shook his head. _'Whatever, alright I'll send clones out to hunt every day and have them bring in a bunch of meat.'_

' _ **And vegetables.'**_

' _What?'_

' _ **Proper nutrition for hairless monkeys like you includes vegetables.'**_

' _How could you possibly know that?'_

' _ **Do you know how many times you've been lectured on your eating habits?'**_

' _I never bothered to count.'_

' _ **Five hundred and forty-three by the one you call Iruka, one thousand and seventy-five by your so-called grandfather, and ten by that lazy one with the cursed eye.'**_

Blue eyes blinked...and blinked again. _'Have you been watching ever since you were sealed?'_

' _ **I have complete access to your memories from in here,'**_ was the annoyed reply. _**'I can view them any time I wish though any attempts upon manipulation are prevented by the seal. This combined with the fact I've spent the last decade and change within the equivalent of a sewer meant that your memories were the only source of breaks in the monotony that is my imprisonment. Thus, I have managed to obtain a thorough amount of knowledge on proper nutrition thanks to repeated lessons that you neglected giving your full attention.'**_

Reluctant as he may be, Naruto couldn't find a reason to argue against the beast so simply nodded but any moves to take the discussion further the ground beneath his wooden seat trembled and a thunderous crash rang out from the direction Jiraiya had been walking toward. Without thinking Naruto bolted to his feet, the books tumbling forgotten to the dirt as he leaped over the slowly dwindling campfire and rushing off to investigate. He never saw the air next to the tent ripple as a figure began to move. With each step their outline became clearer, color seeping into view as Jiraiya appeared in full glory standing next to where his student once sat. His lips were curled into a slight frown as his gaze lingered on where the blonde had vanished into the foliage.

"Gonna need to work on that impulse issue," he mused aloud. "Kid needs to learn how vital it is to think when he has the time." Sighing, the veteran scratched as his scalp with one hand before breaking down the campsite. Tent, books and cookware were all returned to their rightful places before he grabbed up the purple cane and made to follow. "Well, I have a whole second month to pound some sense into him. Even more than that considering his ability to spam those clones." He began to feel it, the thrill of being a teacher again. The impending times when he'll get to see them grow and accomplish...he'd forgotten how much fun it could be.

As the teacher was musing about the past and future during a nice stroll, the student burst through the bushes to find Jiraiya standing at the lip of the gorge he'd thrown the blonde over only a day prior. Only now there was a new feature, a stream was pouring out just to the man's right and disappearing over the cliff edge. Hearing the running feet behind him, the white-haired man glanced back and smiled when he saw Naruto. "Yo gaki," he gave a little wave. "Come check this out I got the ground work set up."

Now aware his teacher was actually alright, the blonde looked around and noticed something else. The ground around them had been smoothed out, the grass removed to create a bare area in the shape of a rectangle which was marked by a stone pillar, each the height of the genin's waist, at each of the four corners. "I figure putting a house up here will help you out," he explained. "You'll have a place to rest up after a day of training down in the gorge and we can move those tangerine trees Gama told me about up here. Though we'll need to clear up a bit more land for growing them especially if you plan to make it an orchard. We can set up some irrigation work too, but that's not really high up there on my priorities right now."

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "Then what is?"

"Well, first off we need to hear your answer on that fruit I recommended and for another thing..." the man trailed off smirking like a cat who'd just caught the canary before he exploded in a puff of smoke. Naruto didn't even have time to react before a knife hand was dropped down onto the crown of his head with a light smack. "I'm also gonna be building some spacial awareness so stuff like this won't happen in the field."

Stepping around the now grumbling blonde as he rubbed his head the man took the place of his clone and began looking over the edge. "I'll make a bowl for the waterfall down there when I head down, plus a channel so the water doesn't just flood everything. But first," he turned back to Naruto and crossed his arms. "I'm going to need your answer on that fruit."

' _Again, with changing between light-hearted jokes and serious tension at the drop of a hat,'_ he mentally grumbled. _'Aren't I supposed to be the one hard to predict?'_

' _ **Just because you've got flitting between subjects on the fly down to an art doesn't mean you're the only one allowed to do it,'**_ the Kyubi growled from within his mind. _**'We both know what your answer is anyway so hurry up and get started already. Time isn't gonna stand still for us.'**_

Schooling his features into an expression of determination, Naruto gave a mental nod before looking up to meet his newest teacher's gaze. "Hand it over." The equally serious visage of the self-proclaimed super pervert remained impassive for a short moment even as Naruto stretched out his hand. Then, ever so slowly, the ends of his lips began to quirk up into a smile as he reached into his robe and pulled out a small scroll. A flick of the wrist unfurled it and he bit his thumb hard enough to draw blood, pressing the now bleeding digit to a seal on the paper which resulted in a small cloud of smoke exploding out from the contact point. When it cleared, in the palm of that hand now rested the same heart-shaped fruit Naruto had seen in the book. Jiraiya stepped forward, placed the fruit into the outstretched hand and stepped back to roll up the scroll and return it to its former hidden spot.

' _Huh,'_ Naruto bobbed the fruit up and down slightly. _'For something as powerful as that Law guy described this thing being, it's surprisingly light.'_ Letting his breath out in an attempt to calm his nerves he brought it to his mouth...and sank his teeth into it. The flesh gave easily, juice spilling out around the bite and hitting his taste buds. He immediately had to force himself not to choke as the most disgusting taste he had ever encountered assaulted his mind. One thing Naruto never told Iruka, Hiruzen, or anyone else for that matter, was that he had resorted several times to digging through garbage to find food in between his visits to the Ichiraku ramen stand. Eating some of the things he had found had been a true battle between his gag reflex and willpower. This fruit...it put all of the garbage combined to shame. Ignoring the tears streaming from his eyes, sweat pouring down his face from the strain of forcing himself not to spit up the horrible fruit with everything he could muster he swallowed that first bite and immediately took a second. Then a third...then a fourth and onward until all that was left was the swirled stem which he let fall to the ground following it by collapsing to his knees and groaning. "That...was...truly...disgusting!"

"Ah suck it up you big baby!" The jovial shout was followed by a thump of a hand on his back. That hand latched onto the collar of his orange jacket and hauled the shaking blonde to his feet. There was a pause as the boy was allowed to find his footing before something was shoved into his hands. "Put one of those around each ankle, wrist, and bicep," Jiraiya instructed.

Upon further inspection Naruto found he was holding a collection of bracelets. Each were crafted from four pearls each white as bone connected by lengths of string, the weirdest part was that he found each of the pearls were marked with the same marking: the hiragana character for 'Guts.' His obviously curious look only received a repeat of the instructions as a reply so he slipped his jacket off, leaving him clad in a black shirt and bright orange pants, and placed a band around each area specified. Once he'd done so, Jiraiya nodded and then clapped his hands together. "Fuin!" The moment that single word left his mouth the beads suddenly felt like they'd become a full ton heavier and brought the unprepared teen to the ground with a startled cry.

"What the hell ero-sennin?!"

"Quit your bitching gaki, now that you've gotten that fruit choked down I'm getting you started on your training. What you just put on is a training seal I designed a long time ago for quick and easy weight control. You remember that Rock Lee kid from the preliminaries?" He paused to let Naruto nod. "I looked at some of the footage from those fights and remember how he got a huge speed boost after dropping those weights? This is similar but instead of trying to find time to slip off some incredibly cumbersome weights all you have to do is deactivate the seal and you're running circles round the enemy. I named it Fuinjutsu: Shishi Jufuin, and I'll teach you the release command but first we need to get down there and start your training."

With that Jiraiya grabbed Naruto around his waist and hoisted him over his shoulder, not even seeming to notice the weight created by his own technique. He then turned to face the gorge and raced forward, leaping at the last possible moment and the duo sailed off into the abyss. Such was the force of his leap the momentum carried them across even as they fell and he was soon bouncing off the side of one of the many large stone spears that had been eroded into the cliff side. He bounced like a flea, breaking his momentum and bringing them ever closer to the bottom where they landed with a slight thud and small dust cloud. "Last stop, ground floor! Everybody off!" With that joyful declaration Naruto's limp body was unceremoniously dropped to the ground where he was forced to fight against his own weight just to stand.

Jiraiya looked around, eyes narrowed slightly in the dim light as he examined the area. "Alright," his palms slammed together in a clap that echoed against the massive walls and off into the distance. "Before we do anything else you need to get at least a bit assimilated to those weights so to start I want you to run laps around that ship. No chakra boosts either, I want you using pure physical ability."

"Why can't I use chakra?" the blonde grunted. He'd begun to stretch as much as the bands allowed, doing what he could to loosen up his muscles to prepare for the coming exercise. "And why do I have only one set on my ankles anyway? You've got two on my arms wouldn't it make sense to do the same?"

"Because that style pushes for a concentration on the speed of your sword swings," was the quick reply. "A swing so fast the eye can't track it and the target actually doesn't even realize they've been cut until you've moved on to another target. Of course, the speed you can move at via your legs is important too otherwise I wouldn't have bothered with your legs at all honestly. But for now, the main focus is your arm speed and we're burning precious time so quit flapping those gums and START RUNNING!" There was a sound of impact as an adult foot slammed into an orange-clad rump sending its owner stumbling with an indignant squawk. It perfectly delivered the message as said owner began a shambling attempt at a jog. "Keep going until the beads change color then come and get me!"

Turning away from the cursing blonde the veteran began stretch his fingers out, rolling his shoulders and sighing at the satisfying pops he felt. "Now then, let's make a training ground fit for a future kage!" Beginning to direct his chakra to begin the renovations he'd planned he grinned at the thrill starting to swell in his chest. He'd missed being a teacher.

 **XXXXX-Cut-XXXXX**

 **Fuinjutsu: Shishi Jufuin - Sealing Technique: Four Limbs Weighting Seal**

 **I'm going to cut it off here because if I didn't it'd be either a timeskip or training montage which not everyone is big fans of. There will be some sparing next chapter but there's one or two more chapters until we get to the actual finals, roll with me on this I'd like to think it'll be worth it.**

 **For those who've brought it up, yes, I took out the female Suigetsu. Waterboy is now back in his canon place but the person I've got taking his place I think you'll find interesting. Feel free to speculate but I'm not giving stuff away.**

 **Now onto more serious subject: I'm not abandoning any of my stories but I think I've bitten off more than I can chew on a couple so they need some work.**

 **I've got a new chapter for Haiburiddo started I've got bout 3k words so far. I want to hit at least five before publishing so give me a bit on that.**

 **Shaman of the Elemental Nations is also a work in not-so-much progress. Been blocked a bit on it but I'm chiseling through slowly.**

 **Fist of the Sentinel I've had a lot of thoughts on but haven't been able to put together anything concrete so it's kind of dead in the water until some inspiration hits me.**

 **Half-Ghost Kitsune I'm trying to build a Naruto without being a bit OP right off. Considering all the abilities being a phantom entail that's actually a bit difficult. I mean he's going to be learning to go invisible, fly, shoot beams, take over people's bodies, and go intangible. I'm going to have to devise a balance for it and I want to be a bit more creative than "Oh he can't faze through chakra"**

 **Regardless, I have every intention of picking these back up once I've gotten a better plan for each of them. Plus, I do need to make a living and I don't think I'm a good enough writer you guys would be willing to subscribe to a for me so I'm juggling that too.**

 **I hope you all enjoy the holidays and to see you again soon. Until that time, constructive criticism is appreciated but flames will be used to warm my house in the coming winter. Live long and prosper, Yurei King is signing out!**

 **I OWN NOTHING!**


	3. Chapter 3

**THIS IS NOT AN UPDATE! I am sorry to do this but none of the reviews to the new chapter were showing up when I looked at them, I'm trying reposting this to see if it fixes that little issue. If it doesn't, I'll try something else I guess.**

 **Apologies to everyone coming back to this because of notifications sent out.**

 **Welcome back one and all to the adventures of Naruto as the Humming Surgeon.**

 **Not much to say here, other than to thank everyone for the reviews, I've sent a few replies out though haven't gotten to everyone, sorry about that.**

 **Anyway, I just want to take this moment to thank Kamen Rider Arashi once again for his help on keeping the story going, two minds better than one as they say.**

 **I've said before and I'll say again, I sadly do not make money off Naruto or One Piece. Would be nice though, save me a lot of problems monetary wise anyway.**

 **Now that's over with, on with the chapter…ENJOY!**

 **XXXXX**

Hiruzen Sarutobi did not surprise easily. The Sandaime Hokage had succeeded his predecessors and earned the titles of **Shinobi no Kami** due to his learning to manipulate all five of the primary elements of ninjutsu and combining them into a fighting style that swept devastation onto the battlefield.

He had seen the results of his favored student's experiments, seen the grandniece of his predecessor descend into a depressed, drunken gambler wandering the world looking to bury herself in her own self-pity. While his third student became the most loyal and powerful of the three under his own volition and creativity.

He had fought in the battles both physical and political and come out on top relatively often.

Most of all, he had survived the onslaught of pranks wrought upon the villagers, and himself, by a certain hyperactive blonde desperate for attention. He wondered what that boy would think of the fact his **Orioke no Jutsu** had been added to the Anbu training book due to its effectiveness in distraction. Never let it be said that Hiruzen did not overlook such opportunities to improve the training of his forces no matter the origin or oddness.

Years of experience on those varied battlefields allowed him to school his features into the thoughtful frown he now sported as his former student finished his report. "That is…quite the tale Jiraiya," he talked around the pipe stem between his lips. "Though I do wonder why you insisted on that fruit in particular."

"Lack of information on the most part," the infamous author of erotica replied, arms folded as he pondered his next words. "There was no way to guess if that fruit that grew limbs could channel chakra through them. Sand can be beaten by water, one of the most common of elemental techniques. One's completely useless to humans. That left the rubber power and the space one. Rubber could be incredibly handy given a complete immunity to raiton jutsu and blunt attacks, but I thought having as much control over the battlefield as that Ope no Mi has would be a greater boon." He stopped and sighed. "Honestly, I would have been fine if he wanted to take the rubber power instead, but I wanted to see if he'd think beyond that."

One gray eyebrow quirked upward. "You were testing him."

It may not have been a question, but Jiraiya nodded all the same. "I'd hoped he would ask to look at the stuff on the others and we would've had a conversation about it, but he made his decision and now has no choice but to follow through." He shrugged. "Better he learns this now then get slapped in the face with it later."

"He's already begun to learn that," Hiruzen mused aloud. "The scroll incident, and his mission to Nami no Kuni were both hard lessons forced onto him." His frown deepened heavily as a new thought came to him. "In fact, his early life forced him to be at least somewhat self-capable in survival."

Here Jiraiya grimaced, guilt obvious in his expression and demeanor. "You never told him anything, did you?"

"He has no idea, either of his parents' identities or your connection to them." He did not need to look at his old teacher's face to notice the disapproval evident there. "And I am not entirely pleased with your handling of the matter either. I understand you had your network to maintain…but in all bluntness, you did **exactly** what Tsunade did after losing Dan. You ran off and buried yourself in the search for Orochimaru and hounding women and just seemed to forget about your **godson** while doing so." His eyes narrowed. "And especially after seeing what Dan and Nawaki passing on did to your teammate I thought you would know to avoid such actions."

He held his stare for a time, letting it sink it just how disappointed he was in the man, before sighing. "Fortunately, you still have time to make up for your shortcomings by some margin." _Better than I can anyhow,_ he mentally added but aloud he continued the subject. "Anyway, how goes his training?"

"Well it's only been a day, but he went until about midnight before finally dropping," he said. A sad smile began to spread across his face. "Honestly, he looks like Minato but that never quit attitude and ungodly stamina is pure Kushina."

"He has her ability to adapt on a dime like her too," Hiruzen chuckled. "I've found myself wondering how capable he could be if he also grew into an ability to both plan ahead like his father and add that to his quick adaptability."

"And shuddering at how terrifying the mental picture could be I'll bet. Still, like I said earlier I've got him using the weight beads, two sets on each arm, one on each ankle and one around his waist. He finished the first cycle right before collapsing."

"Why only one set on his legs?"

"I'm hyper-focusing on his arm speed for the finals," he explained. "They saw pretty much the entirety of Naruto's arsenal in that prelim fight before I started on him and I'm trying to pound extra stuff into his head to give him an edge. After the finals I'll add a set to put above his knees and a necklace to spread it over the rest of his body. I need to build his Taijutsu up too, but I'm also going to be teaching him a few extra jutsu."

"Any of them from his father?"

Jiraiya shook his head. " **Rasengan** is an after finals goal too. Though with how that devil fruit works he basically has the **Hiraishin** already. I'm gonna be honing his basics and adding two of my non-toad techniques."

"I assume he's still training while you're here?"

The sage nodded, his frown deepening slightly. "I left a couple shadow clones directing groups of his own copies in a few exercises so I could make my report and pick up some supplies."

"More tools for his training?"

"No, food actually. The kid's appetite skyrocketed, he's gone through all the emergency rations I keep on me at all times and still wants more. It's possible forcing him to increase his physical activity has jumpstarted his metabolism into overdrive but…it seems a bit too convenient."

Hiruzen grew still, smoke leaking from the corners of his mouth as he stared into Jiraiya's eyes. "Do you think it has to do with the Kyubi?"

"It's possible. He was forced to draw its power out to summon Gamabunta after all so there's a chance it made some sort of contact with him that's been maintained since then."

"Has he been acting odd?"

"Just more serious about his training than ever before," he replied. "Almost like he's desperate to close a gap or something, or more like he just decided it was time to really knuckle down. But then again, he was damn persistent trying to master summoning so I won't know for sure until I spend more time with him. Learn his tells, mannerisms and get an actual base knowledge of his character before I can say what would classify as 'odd' for him."

The elder shinobi hummed in thought, nibbling on his pipe's stem this time. It had become a habit when he was puzzling over something particularly troubling. Finally, he made his decision. "Keep observing him then," he ordered. "I know you still have the key Minato made for the seal so if you **do** end up seeing anything troubling it shouldn't be difficult to tighten the security should you feel it necessary." When Jiraiya nodded to signify his understanding of the order the Hokage let himself relax. "Now then, tell me what all you're going to be training him in."

 **XXXXXXXXXX**

"Thanks for the meal guys," placing the money to pay for the five bowls of ramen he had consumed in his normal manner, Naruto waved to Teuchi and Ayame Ichiraku while stepping back out into Konoha's streets. The father of the duo returned the wave, his daughter poring over the recipe book Naruto had brought along. One of the many written by the man named Sanji, the cook of the Strawhat Crew. They had started as if hearing something profound when he mentioned the name but had gotten too swallowed up in exploring the books to talk about it.

Putting it out of his mind for now, he looked around. Day had settled into evening some time ago, the full moon slowly rising to shine its pale light onto the village. Even this late the streets were still alive with people, unsurprising for any settlement the size of a city really. As was his norm, the blonde was quick in moving from street level to the rooftops most shinobi preferred.

However, he chose to walk instead of run across the 'shinobi streets' as the roof route had come to be called. Hands in the pockets of his new navy trousers, the young man wandered without a destination, allowing his feet to carry him wherever. His thoughts turned to the conversation he and the sage had finished not even two hours before.

"Take a break." Those three simple words halted the blonde just as he finished the final squat in his most recent set. Unlinking the fingers from behind his head, Naruto turned to meet his teacher's gaze with an expression showing obvious confusion. Standing from where he had been sitting on the new pond's surface a few yards away from his new pupil, Jiraiya was serious as he continued. "You've been training till you drop every day for that first month and now three weeks on top of that. You need to take it easy or you're going to blow out, so as your teacher I'm giving you a new order: find a hobby."

Genin stared at sannin, blinking slowly. "What?"

Jiraiya sighed in frustration. "You need a…distraction I guess you could call it. Something you can step back from all the missions, training and full shinobi routine and just relax. If all you do is train, eat, sleep, wake up and repeat then eventually you're just going to crash or snap." He rubbed his chin. "My books are one of the ways I do that. I've got tons of unpublished pieces that didn't make the cut for one reason or another, but I keep writing because it gives me something other than my job to think about. A lot of shinobi turn to drinking and no-strings sex too. Though that teacher of yours likes to mess with people by walking around and reading my books in public. Gai…you probably wouldn't believe me without seeing it. I know a few are in relationships and do the normal couple stuff as a sort of escape. Anyway, my point is find something that doesn't have to do with being a shinobi."

"So…you're not going to let me train at all?"

"Don't worry I'll allow the weight training to continue," he waved off any concern on that part. "I've taught you how to release and renew it so you won't need my help in that area. Beyond that the only thing you're going to do is keep some clones studying those anatomy charts and practicing on the test dummies I made just to keep your skills sharp."

"There's no way out of this is there?" When his teacher shook his head Naruto sighed and grumbled, but eventually gave in. On the plus side he got to make a ramen run, something he hadn't really taken the time for since the time the old pervert had tricked him with that whole 'last meal' crap before the gorge. That thought brought the smile back to his face as he recalled the satisfaction of hearing the bastard scream after a well-placed kick to his baby makers. Ah, sweet vengeance was just so satisfying sometimes.

He forced his thoughts back to the matter at hand, his need for a so-called distraction. His initial thought was perhaps going back to his habit of pranking, it always felt good to see the flabbergasted expressions after a successful one after all. However, while he still enjoyed a good laugh he found the reasons he began pranking in the first place not as strong anymore.

He had originally begun his rein as the pranking king of mischief because people ignored him, badmouthed him or overcharged for food and such. Now, he was a shinobi. He had a teacher who actually gave a crap about training him beyond teamwork exercises and he was getting strong enough to back up his claims now. Forcing people to look at him and acknowledge him wasn't as a big deal anymore, he didn't need that confirmation of existence like he used to.

" _ **That doesn't mean you can't find a good reason to do it,"**_ his roommate commented from within his mind. _**"It would just change the motives."**_

 _You're right about that,_ he replied. It was getting easier to think his answers with practice, though holding any form of conversation beyond two words during a fight was still a bit beyond him. _Plus, there is the satisfaction of a prank working out like I planned it. Not to mention I would be using my shinobi skills for something fun beyond a mission._

" _ **So, there's at least one thing you can do. But…"**_

 _Yeah,_ he paused to hop across the alley between two buildings before continuing. _A good prank takes a lot of time to plan and set up. Not to mention actually coming up with a unique idea can take even more time. I'll need something to do in between them._

The fox was about to comment, but a sound reaching Naruto's ears stopped them both. "Nobody knows~ who I really am~," a woman's voice carried on the winds, singing in a pitch that immediately caught his attention. "I've never felt~ this empty before~. And if I ever need someone to come along~…who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong~?"

There were no instruments, but as she continued singing Naruto felt himself drawn to that voice. Without thinking or any direction from their owner, his feet turned toward this new interest. Before he realized it, he was jogging, and then running. He just wanted to hear more, to let the voice finish her song.

His trip took a matter of minutes and ended with him perched atop a water tower looking down at a roof complete with a covered sitting area. One of the village's hotels, he noticed. A girl, around his age, was the sole occupant of the rooftop, and was very familiar to him.

The singer had dark hair long enough that, had she been standing, it would have reached her ankles with the ends tied in a purple ribbon. She was resting on one of the wooden benches, brushing that long hair as she sang to the night. He also noted that while missing the armored vest she had worn while taking the exam, she was not without a weapon. Her kunai holster remained attached to her right thigh over the mottled gray and black cargo pants she and her teammates seemed to favor. A scarf colored in a similar pattern sat in her lap along with her headband.

Eventually, the song came to an end and he watched a moment longer as she returned the headband to its place before speaking. "You're pretty good." She reacted how he expected, bolting to her feet and senbon appearing in her hand for immediate action should the need arise. Her eyes searched for the source, but he was above the light and being in darker clothes helped a little. He couldn't help but chuckle, even little harmless fun like this was good occasionally. Still, he didn't want to make an enemy where it wasn't necessary, so he called out again. "Up here."

Her eyes darted up to his shadowed body and only narrowed when he offered a little wave. Not liking the thought of looking down on anyone, he hopped off, landing on the roof a few yards away from her to allow for some personal space as he stood with hands in his pockets.

Kin Tsuchi had been expecting a relaxing evening. Zaku was moping around his room as per his new usual after the loss of his arms and Dosu had gone out saying he needed to take care of something. Their village leader, Orochimaru, had been posing as their team's sensei as a cover for extra reconnaissance to fill in any holes time may have created in his knowledge of the village. He had also given them a personal mission, one they had failed and expected punishment…only for him to brush it off saying he had underestimated Sasuke's ability and it was his fault for not training them to match it.

He had given them instructions to simply blend in, await further instructions and gather what information they could before disappearing. A shadow clone had returned earlier that afternoon, saying he had managed to arrange for their allies to provide Zaku with a pair of prosthetic arms and the installation would be taking place in the morning. The clone had also explained they would be retrieving the new marching orders for the coming attack and they were all to await a messenger scheduled to appear at sunrise.

Dosu had left not long after that and Zaku had gone to bed. Finally, with some time to herself, she had gone to the roof to enjoy the night air, and now found herself talking to someone she never thought would approach her. When he landed, she couldn't reconcile the memory of the loudmouth blonde in eye-wateringly bright orange clothes to the taller one standing before her. The only features she recognized were his wild blonde hair, the marks like whiskers on his cheeks, and those deep blue eyes brimming with life.

He'd grown in the two months since the preliminaries. Where he had been shorter than her by a couple of inches, he now stood at just over five feet, making her have to tilt her head just slightly upward to meet his eyes. His clothes were mostly dominated by a dark blue color, just above black in shade and blending almost perfectly with the night sky. His orange was still there, however, just now it was a ring of burnt orange around the shirt's collar and extending down its front in a straight line. And, because normal just could not fit with this guy for some reason, there was a purple cane hanging in belt of his pants like one would carry a sword and a straw hat resting atop his wild, sun-kissed hair.

"I don't remember your name," he said, doffing the aforementioned straw hat to her and smiling. "But mine's Naruto. How's your head by the way?"

"What?"

"Your head? Y'know, when Shikamaru made you slam it against the wall with his shadow trick?" This was emphasized by him pointing at the back of his own. "You didn't get a concussion or anything did ya?"

"My head is fine," she mumbled just loud enough to hear. "And my name is Kin." Her defeat at the hands of the Nara heir was not something she wanted brought up again. But beyond that, the fact the blonde was even showing concern for her was hard to believe considering he was on a team with that pink-haired weakling and…Sasuke. She suppressed the urge to shudder at the thought of the Uchiha. The aura he had given off, the sound of Zaku's screams as his arms were ripped out of their sockets.

"That's good," thankfully he seemed oblivious to her discomfort which gave her time to school her features into a more open expression. "Anyway, I was just roaming around when I heard you singing so I figured I'd stop and tell you what I thought. Like I said, you're pretty good."

"Thank you." She was thankful for the small mercy of their not being any lights beyond the faint glow of the moon and stars above. That way he wouldn't notice the slight coloring to her cheeks from the honest compliment. Such things did not come often for the shinobi of Otogakure.

They stood for a moment, an increasingly awkward silence passing between them before the blonde coughed into one hand. "Well…I didn't really have much more to say so…I guess I'll head off." He was turning to leave when he paused as if struck by a last second thought. "Oh and tell that mummy guy I said good luck in his fight." He had made it to the roof's edge when she called out.

"Wait." He paused, turning to face her again. "I…honestly I haven't spent much time exploring the village since I got here. Would you mind showing me around?"

Naruto cocked his head, scratching at his chin as he considered it. _It's not like I have anything better to do right now._ With a shrug he nodded with a smile. "Sure, though I'm not really the guy to look for when looking for places to hang out. I'm…not really what'd you call a social guy now that I think about it." Actually, when he gave it real thought his life had pretty much revolved around fighting, training, and shoving ramen in his mouth. _Wow…that old perv might have a point._ Still, there wasn't much he could do about that right now. "Though, I do know a few good eating places, that and a pretty good view of the village from up high. I can show you that if you'd like?"

When she nodded he turned to set off again, his new companion falling into step though he never saw the smirk she was fighting to keep from showing. This would be far too easy.

As they moved across rooftops Kin began to ask little, seemingly innocent questions. Where he liked to hang out when he's not training? If she wanted to get out of the village at night what was the best way? What are his teammates like? What are some missions he'd been on?

Questions one would possibly think of as simply trying to get to know the person she was talking to but were her ways of getting what information she could out of him. He answered without thinking beyond the obvious, explaining a few places he had eaten such as the buffet houses owned by the Akimichi Clan, a clan which provided a great deal of the bulk food for Konoha thanks to owning several farms in the area. Though he gave the impression of obsessive behavior whenever he brought up ramen, the Ichiraku Stand in particular. It wasn't anything that led to any great epiphanies, though she hadn't been expecting any from a genin in the first place. But she had figured free information wasn't to be turned down.

As such, she followed Naruto as he led her in a line across the rooftops. A genuinely friendly air seemed to surround the blonde and Kin actually found herself beginning to enjoy their talk. Especially when he started recalling a few of his better pranks he'd committed prior to his graduation from the academy. Needless to say, despite having changed physically and having a bit less boisterous attitude, it was obvious Naruto Uzumaki was a rather lively fellow. This made it all the more jarring when he suddenly froze and turned to look off to his left, expression dropping from pleasant to wary.

He held up a hand when Kin began to question the sudden change and his eyes narrowed searching the skyline. While he couldn't see or hear anything out of the ordinary, the very air seemed off. It was as if a massive predator had just stepped into the area and everything had gone quiet in the hopes of escaping the monster's notice. _Partner,_ he mentally called to his tenant. _What am I feeling here?_ One thing Naruto had made sure to do since officially making the fox his partner, was talk with him. Mostly it was laced with mild insults from the chakra beast, but Naruto ribbed back as good as he got so it wasn't a bad thing. Though, when talking about learning sensing abilities the Kyubi had eventually shared his ability to sense the negative emotions around him.

There was a pause following his unspoken inquiry, and then an answer. " _ **One of my kin has begun to hunt. The chakra is tainted by that of a human, meaning they are like us, though the taint makes it hard to identify which one it is."**_ Thankfully, he had managed to get an agreement out of the fox to help him in serious times by relaying the information his senses provided.

Without a word, Naruto began to set off toward the direction this sensation he felt was coming from. He ignored the sudden cry from Kin, barely noticing she had taken off after him as he followed the sensation back to its source. Another host in the village could be a serious threat, he needed to at least get a view of whoever it was.

Feeling himself getting close, the blond let his momentum ease off, slowing until he could crouch in a shadow of a nearby chimney. When the kunoichi managed to finally reach him, it took her some time to actually track him and probably would have moved off in the wrong direction if he hadn't waved her down. After seeing such a person seeming to vanish, Kin was beginning to think he hadn't been exaggerating about his pranking abilities.

She crouched next to him, nodding when he pressed a finger to his lips and began to move forward. She followed in his footsteps, idly flashing through a few hand seals and using a technique that dispersed what little sound they made, making it even more difficult to discover them. She was surprised to see him stop a few moments later, turning back to look at her with an eyebrow raised, apparently having noticed the slight difference. A nod and smile was the only response she gave but it seemed enough for him as he returned the gesture and once again began to move.

The duo moved across the last remaining rooftops until Naruto saw him. The building was across the street from a castle, which both teens recognized as Kikyo Castle, though for much different reasons. Perched atop the raised tail of the roof's left Shachihoko was a person, a person with their head tilted back and staring at the moon peaking through the clouds above. The silver light shining on this person made it incredibly easy for Naruto to see who it was and knew instantly things were not good.

"Gaara," he whispered.

" _ **Indeed,"**_ the Kyubi spoke again. _**"Judging by the memories seeing him has stirred up in your mind, it's pretty easy to tell which one of my siblings he holds."**_

 _What can you tell me about him?_

" _ **His name is Shukaku, he takes the form of a tanuki and has perfect control of sand. His body is actually made of the stuff and he can manipulate it and other sand. When we were free I remember him favoring defense, creating nigh impenetrable walls of the stuff but he's capable of manipulating wind to some degree. Its apparent from your view of his match with that eccentric friend of yours that his host has some level of control over the same element. Though to what extent beyond that which you saw I couldn't tell you. I've never seen a host using his power."**_

There was movement in the shadows, it drew Naruto's eye and he saw yet another familiar person jumping onto the castle's roof. He heard the sharp gasp from Kin, as she realized her own teammate was there. _They're too far to hear anything,_ he mentally grumbled. _Plus, even if I_ could _read lips that damn mummy has his face wrapped!_

" _ **Focus ningen,"**_ the fox chided. _**"That sand kid's oozing blood lust and it's getting worse with each second."**_

Thinking fast, the blond raised his hands and formed the handsign of his signature technique. The trio of clones that popped into existence shared a nod with their creator before he handed one a scroll and they turned to vanish into an alley to their left. "Get ready to run," he whispered to the kunoichi. "When they move we'll have seconds to get your teammate out away from here." She gave a questioning look, but Naruto wasn't paying attention. _Are your senses telling you anything else?_

" _ **We are not the only watchers."**_

 _Where?_

" _ **To your right and down, street level."**_ Turning his eyes where indicated he didn't see anything. **"** _ **The shadows a bit back from the street. There are…three. Two of them are directly next to each other, both have some buried resentment, though one has some fear, but I can't sense where it is directed. The third, he is worried and shocked, plus some sense of building anger, all of them seem to be directed toward the two I mentioned earlier. That's all I can discern."**_

 _It's enough to tell me they're worth looking into. Thanks._ There was no reply as Naruto created two more clones who slunk toward the right out of view. They were to observe and dispel, avoid exposure. He then turned his eyes back toward the two on the rooftop just in time to see Dosu pulling back the long sleeve of his right arm while Gaara remained perched on the higher ground, staring at him with his usual expression of apathy.

The desert dweller turned to look up at the moon again, and Naruto watched carefully as the gourd on his back began to shift. Blue eyes were riveted to the sand, following the tendril that sprouted from the gourd's side across his fellow host's back, over his shoulder and down to cover his arm entirely. It grew into a massive arm with four thick claws, while more sprouted from the part on his shoulder. It crawled up his neck to cover half of his face.

He couldn't see more than that, the lack of color in the night making details hard to see. When Dosu charged this monster, hand stretched out in preparation for one of his sound barrages, Naruto felt just a little bit of respect for the guy. If anything he had guts. Gaara didn't seem to care, with a cry he leaped down, the crunch of roof tiles shattering under his weight just barely audible to the hiding teens. That misshapen claw rose, and lashed out like a whip, slamming into Dosu and sending him rolling.

The momentum from the blow sent him nearly over the edge, a kunai he pulled and plunged into the roof the only thing slowing him down enough he didn't fall to his death. Though, it mostly just seemed like he was delaying the inevitable, for Gaara was even less inclined to show mercy than he had been in the preliminaries and as the mummy's lone eye rose up it was to see the claw blotting out the sky and crashing down onto him. He hadn't even had time to scream.

Naruto slapped a hand over Kin's mouth when he saw her move, one arm wrapping around her shoulders and pulling her back against his chest as he turned them away. "Ssssh," he hissed between his teeth, grateful her jutsu seemed to hold up as he heard no sounds from their struggle. "It's alright! It's alright just calm down."

She struggled still but Naruto had been physically stronger than most his age **before** he'd been undergoing the weight training. As he was now she didn't have a chance of escaping his grip and running off to get herself killed. Looking over his shoulder, Naruto saw the smoke clear to reveal a crushed body that had been the sound user. Gaara stared at the corpse, his expression…disappointed. Shaking his head, he turned away as the sand withdrew into the gourd it had been before the confrontation and he leaped off into the night.

" _ **The three watchers are leaving too,"**_ the Kyubi updated his living prison. _**"One has gone off on his own, the other is following the third which is fleeing at high speeds."**_ Now having been told they were in the clear, Naruto let Kin slip out of his grip only for his hand to snap up and grab the wrist of her own hand which would have clapped against his face after she spun around.

Before she could yell or scream at him for just letting that…that crazy psychopath **kill** her teammate and force her to let it happen a new person landed on the rooftop. She immediately recognized one of the doppelgangers he had sent to the left…with the unconscious body of Dosu Kinuta. Stunned, she could only stare, blinking. She turned to see the body still laid out on the roof. She looked to Naruto, who smirked and pointed back to the roof, where she was just in time to see the body erupt into smoke, leaving dripping liquid where it had been lying.

"A blood bag," he told her. "I've been taking lessons in medical techniques and I had a bag of my blood drawn to keep in a seal—" he paused to accept back the scroll he had given the clone before it ran off "—and my clone broke it so Gaara would think he had actually killed him."

"He's going to need a doc though boss," the clone said. "That punch he took must've broken a few things." Naruto nodded and was about to take the genin's body so he could dispel the clone and take him to the hospital when a jolt of new information shot through their minds. The clone turned. "GO! I'll bring medics!"

He leaped off across the rooftops in the direction of the hospital. Kin looked to Naruto but he pointed after them. "I need to take care of something, look after your teammate!" That done, the real blonde bolted off, Kin not knowing it was in the direction his clone had followed the other observers. She simply set out to follow the clone carrying her partner.

As soon as he cleared the rooftop and landed, Naruto slammed his palms together and pulsed his chakra. **"KAI!"** The bellowed release phrase was answered by the beads he wore changing from red to white and the weight limiting his movements was gone in the blink of an eye. Unencumbered, he shot like an arrow from its string. The darkness of the night made it almost impossible to see the black blur he had become as he moved and he approached his target within seconds.

The clone that had remained after the other dismissed itself to alert their creator waved him down and he landed to find it had already removed the patient's shirt. Hayate, the man Naruto recognized as the one to serve as proctor for the preliminaries, lay in a slowly growing pool of his own blood. The precious liquid of life was spilling from a gash that had been cut from his left shoulder to his right hip, and he was gasping for air.

Naruto ordered the clone to remove its shirt and stuff it under the wounded man's head while he once more drew out the scroll that his clone had returned. He hadn't had the time to tell Kin about it, but the scroll contained several things Jiraiya had procured for him when he explained wanting to learn about the medical trade. He had known with the amount of chakra he had, getting to the point he was capable of controlling it enough to actually perform medical ninjutsu would be a **huge** undertaking but that didn't mean he couldn't learn the other necessary skills. The sage had agreed it was as useful set of skills to have, and thus had gone to Konoha's hospital to acquire whatever he could to help his student.

Biting his thumb, the teen pressed the newly bleeding digit against one of the seals marring the scrolls white surface and from the resulting small puff of smoke drew a paper tag marked with intricate kanji. This tag he slapped onto the gasping jonin's unwounded pectoral muscle and forced his chakra into it. The stasis seals lit up with a bright green light and the flow of blood visibly slowed as the Narutos watched.

"Track his pulse," he instructed the clone, who nodded and pressed two fingers to the man's throat while turned back to his scroll. The next item he drew was a camera which he handed to a clone he created immediately afterward. This clone went about photographing the wound and surrounding area to keep a record of what was going on upon his arrival while the original held out his hand. **"Room!"** the translucent sphere serving as the initiation technique for his new powers popped into life all around them and he pointed one finger at Hayate's body, moving it to point directly upward. **"Takt."** Bidden by the powers of the Ope no Mi, the swordsman was raised into the air where he hovered at waist level.

The clone that had been supporting the wounded man's head moved to the scroll where it retrieved a long roll of bandages. The second clone, having gathered the instant photographs into a small pile and resealed the camera, moved to assist the clone by laying a thick gauze over the wound, forcing it into the incision to best block any further bleeding while the first began tightly winding the cloth around the wounded torso to bind the gauze down.

Having not mastered the fruit to the level of keeping the field open without concentrating, Naruto was forced to keep still in the sphere's center, one hand holding the unconscious Hayate aloft while the clones finished the rushed bandage. Next, they unsealed a box containing blood replenishing pills, one holding onto them while the other rolled it back up and slipped it back into the pouch at Naruto's hip. Moments later, the clone that had left for the hospital returned, a team of medical shinobi and Anbu hot on his heels, though they stopped at the edge of the Room, unsure of its origin.

"Either get your asses in here or throw me a stretcher!" Naruto's bellow jolted them into action once more and two members of the medical squad stepped forward with the demanded stretcher which he told them to hold under the hovering body. Naruto lowered his hand, the body following the gesture until he was gently resting on it. Naruto dropped the technique, the sphere vanishing with his concentration as his clone stepped up to the seeming captain of the medics.

"Deep laceration from left shoulder to right hip," it reported while holding out the pictures. "Looks like a single cut from a long blade. Stasis seal has been applied." The case of blood pills was handed over next, the medic nodding as he barked an order, the two holding Hayate taking off while their partners followed.

The clones dispelled as soon as they were no longer needed, Naruto closing his eyes as the now familiar rush of information poured into his mind. When they next opened it was to find an Anbu sporting the design of some sort of bird he couldn't name at the moment standing in front of him. "Report," he ordered and Naruto began to recount everything since meeting Kin on the rooftop. As he spoke, he couldn't help but mentally sigh as he knew his night was nowhere near over.

 **XXXXX**

"Naruto," the veteran sighed, leaning forward in the chair he had taken. "If these things keep happening I'm going to start believing you are either the son of some luck deity, you managed to piss one off and they're haunting you, or worse, you seduced one and this is how they show their favor."

The blonde genin had the decency to look sheepish from where he stood across the room. They were not alone in the room, Hayate and Dosu lain out on hospital beds while monitors surrounded each of them. The latter was strapped down with leather bands, which Naruto happened to notice were embossed with some kind of seal pattern he was extremely curious to know he function of. Unfortunately, this was not the time for new knowledge as Hiruzen was making well aware.

"Neko," his word caused the sole visible Anbu agent in the room to turn their gaze toward the Hokage. "I need to seek at the jonin Yugao Uzuki. When you find her, inform her that she is to meet me in my office at 1600 this afternoon." The masked shinobi nodded and walked out the door, Naruto's eyes tracking them. The most he could tell was it was a kunoichi, her mask and its attached hood obscuring any features he would recognize so he gave that up as a lost cause and turned back to his surrogate grandfather he seemed about to continue speaking.

"As far as you're concerned in this Naruto, these two didn't survive." Said grandfather looked at the teen with eyes hard as steel and a stern frown. "Suna and Oto most likely believe they have passed and my Anbu are already at the crime scenes in order to ensure any reports say the same. They will be moved to a secure facility where they can recover, and we can get their sides of what happened."

"May I know where they'll be?"

"I don't know yet," he replied, one hand cupping his chin. "Normally I would say no outright, but you saved them which makes the two genin somewhat your responsibility." _And,_ he added within the safety of his own mind, _I can use this to my advantage to bring you a bit of what you've been denied all these years. But for now, I think my own test of your abilities is in order._

"Let me ask you something Naruto. If you were trying to think of a place secluded enough to keep these two, three if we include young Kin, but needed to take medical equipment to ensure their continued recovery what would you decide?"

Naruto was lost for a moment, fortunately Jiraiya had been pitching theoretical situations at him since this new month of training started so he was not in completely unfamiliar territory. He leaned back against the wall, arms crossed and frowning as he pondered the question his commander had just given. Save the machines monitoring the wounded shinobi and the breathing of Kin as she slept in a chair next to her teammate the room had gone silent, Hiruzen watching as the boy worked through the puzzle.

 _Slip them out in body bags? No, they'd most likely check anyone in the morgue make sure there's no loose ends or coverups. The medical equipment, at least this stuff they got here in the room, they most likely have spares of in storage or something so that's easy. Hmmmmmm._

They were silent for a while longer, Naruto's face running a gambit of expressions while Hiruzen and his hidden Anbu watched with more than a little amount of amusement despite the situation. Finally, Naruto spoke.

"Does the hospital have some kind of storage for stuff like all this?" he waved at the monitors and other stands around the beds. Hiruzen nodded. "Well, stuff like this just have a couple of the staff report two different rooms have stuff going haywire or just broken then take em out to be replaced. Move them to whatever safe house you're planning to use."

"And the location you would pick?"

"Honestly, the only place I can think of is the Sunny."

Hiruzen actually let his surprise at the suggestion show by the widening of his eyes. Save for one, his Anbu weren't aware of the ship and he could **feel** their confusion, but Naruto must have realized Jiraiya would have at least told him. "That…is an interesting thought. But do you have power there?"

"The perv installed a generator with a water wheel to use the river he made down there," Naruto shrugged. "I don't have any wall outlets yet, but I've got some extension cords to run power where it's needed. Plus, that Anbu he brought over was able to help fix up a lot of the rooms inside so its safe. He seemed to really like the wood they were made out of, but I didn't have any information on it. I just haven't read Franky's journals yet."

The veteran found himself chuckling slightly despite the situation. "Yes, I remember his enthusiasm over possibly being able to recreate its strength with his own techniques. You might win a friend for life if you lent him the journals, or perhaps a simple copy of any notes on that wood you might find in them." He waved it off for later. "However, while I do like the idea of your new home as a hiding place…how do you intend to transport them there?"

Naruto's brow furrowed at the question. "Hmm…I don't know. I guess using the transformation they could be disguised but moving them in any way like that will have to be big since I'd be moving them and most likely the bed."

"I might have a solution to that," a familiar voice interjected. The conscious people in the room, both visible and non, turned to see a man stepping into the room. He was tall, dressed in rough clothes of a farmer it seemed with broad shoulders and callused hands. His hair was a long brown mess flecked with gray and kept somewhat tamed by the ponytail it was tied back in while matching with the rough beard covering his lower jaw. Still, his expression was of open amusement as he slid the door behind him closed.

Immediately upon the latching taking hold an Anbu appeared, blade at his throat while one hand was set into a seal of some kind. "Identify yourself," he ordered.

The man's grin seemed to spread, and he opened his mouth only for it to click shut and turn to the oldest one present. Hiruzen had not made any sound, nor had he moved beyond the narrowing of his eyes, but it was as if that little movement had changed the entire atmosphere of the room, a heavy weight landing on Naruto's shoulders not unlike what he had experienced during the first clash of his team against Zabuza. Only while that was laced with intent to kill, this pressure was more as if his grandfather's presence had tripled in magnitude.

"We do not have time for more games Jiraiya," the Sandaime Hokage's voice was measured and even. It was all he said, and all he needed to say.

The stranger sighed, one hand rising with two fingers extended. There was a whisper of chakra and then the color in his hair and beard faded to the pure white Naruto had grown familiar with. That done, he wet his thumb against the tip of his tongue, running it across his cheeks to rid them of the makeup covering the red tear marks leading from the corners of his eyes.

"Not really a game sensei," he groused while pulling his preferred footwear from some fold in his clothes to slip on. "More of a demonstration on what else I'll be teaching Naruto after the exams are over."

"I can use the **Henge** just fine," Naruto cut in. "Why would I need to do that stuff?"

"There are seals that can make it impossible to mold chakra in an area," Jiraiya explained. "Not to mention a skilled sensor can feel the chakra being used to make the transformation possible. Using a true physical disguise negates both of those issues, not to mention the fact a solid punch or loss of concentration won't dislodge it meaning you can focus on more important things."

"All good points but not what we were discussing at the moment," Hiruzen cut in before the conversation had the chance to get too carried away. "What are your plans for covertly moving our guests Jiraiya?"

Instead of answering vocally, the sage bit into the pad of his thumb, tapped the bleeding digit against the open palm of his left hand. A quick set of handseals Naruto had become intimately familiar with recently and then his palm was pressing into the tile floor. **"Kuchiyose no Jutsu."**

The cloud of smoke signifying the technique's activation was small, Naruto idly thought it'd be enough to hide Kiba's dog or something a little bigger than the pup. When it cleared, a maroon toad was sitting where Jiraiya's hand had been. The first thing, other than the color, that stood out regarding the amphibious creature's body, was that it was shaped like a drinking gourd with legs and a head, a thick band of light green skin wrapped around the middle like a cloth on said object. "This little guy," the summoner explained while rubbing the small toad's head, "is a gourd toad. And his species has a very useful trick which I've used many times to smuggle myself and others in or out of places."

Raising his hand, he pointed at Naruto with a grin just screaming mischief. Before the aspiring swordsman had time to react, the oddly-shaped summon nodded and opened its mouth. Faster than a striking snake, an impossibly long tongue lashed out to grab the boy around his ankles. The pink muscle contracted, forcing him off balance to fall back and then it began to reel him in.

Naruto cursed, trying to grab onto anything he could to prevent being eaten, but Jiraiya pried his hands loose with ease. Then he felt a sudden pressure, as if being squeezed through a tube half as wide as his body, before all he knew was darkness.

Hiruzen sighed as his struggling surrogate grandson was pulled into the toad's mouth, vanishing without any sign from the creature's body that it had just ingested a meal more than three times its size. "Was that really necessary Jiraiya?"

The toad summoner shrugged. "The kid nailed me in the nuts, that was payback."

"Oh, and was his 'nailing' of you his own retribution for…I don't know…throwing him into a gigantic chasm?"

"No big deal, besides I had a clone waiting inside to keep him from freaking out too much." He turned to the girl who had begun to stir from the commotion. "Leaving or bringing?"

"Leave her for now," he instructed. "Until Hayato regains consciousness and can give his report we still don't know what all is going on. It is possible she knows something."

"Or that snake compartmentalized his organization to keep too much information from getting out," Jiraiya retorted with yet another shrug. "It's what I would've done. But you're the kage so as you command. Oi, there any of the Anbu in here that's gone through medical training?"

The question hung in the air until Hiruzen gave a small nod, the air in the far corning shifting as a hidden figure stepped away and dropped their camouflage. This one sported a mask bearing the likeness of an owl, the eye holes marked by the wide eyes of the avian creature. "Alright, you're going in along with them. Tell me what stuff we absolutely need to bring now and seal them into this—" he held out a scroll which the Anbu took "—and you'll check them over once you're all in the storage space." He paused, feeling one of the clones he had waiting for Naruto inside his gourd toad dispel from an irate blonde's little tantrum. Thankfully for the situation he'd made two, so the one left was able to explain somewhat before it too suffered death at the hands of the knucklehead.

What followed was a scene that would most likely haunt the mind of the young kunoichi as she watched, silenced by Hiruzen's glare to keep from drawing attention, as the toad ate the bodies of an Anbu, her teammate, and the proctor from the preliminaries were **eaten** by a toad just barely larger than some dogs before said amphibian vanished in a puff of smoke. The man, she later would realize had been Jiraiya of the Sannin after getting over the fact she was sitting in front of one of the five most politically and combative powerful shinobi in their world, who had apparently been responsible for said creature gave a cheerful wave to Hiruzen before vanishing himself.

"He must've had the toads summon him back to the mountain to be summoned to the safehouse," she heard the elder man say before he turned his attention fully upon her. She would forever deny the small terrified squeak she let out when the full weight of the suddenly intense gaze fell upon her. "Now then, why don't we get acquainted miss Tsuchi?"

 **XXXXX—And Cut—XXXXX**

 **Shachihoko –** a creature of Japanese folklore. Possessing a head of a tiger and body of a carp, they were believed to be bringers of rain. For that reason, they have been used to adorn the rooftops of temples and castles as protection from fire. The pictures I've found all show the mouth of the tiger clamped onto the roof's edge while the carp body is held with tail aloft pointing to the sky.

 **Okay everybody, what'd you think?**

 **I'll address a few points here real quick. First off, in the original version of this story I had Naruto becoming a bit of a lady's man which was pointed out to me by a few reviewers and even a few messages sent by readers. When I thought about it, I realized that didn't make as much sense as I thought when I first wrote it.**

 **Naruto is considered charismatic but that isn't an instant thing, he won people over time, many times having to overcome horrible first impressions in the process. So, I've changed a few things up.**

 **Another point some people may have, why save Dosu and Kin. Honestly, the greater reason was that I wanted to because it'd be fun. Though another is Sound is probably one of my favorite abilities to see used in any work of fiction because something so seemingly normal can be so devastating when used by inventive minds. The fact it's possible to kill with sound is just terrifying yet awesome to me.**

 **Don't worry, I still intend to make good use of them. Though I am curious to see what all you might think I have in mind there. Let me know if you feel like sharing.**

 **Finally, Neko and Yugao. Yes, Yugao is Neko as everyone knows…but we know because we watch the show and read the mange (plus boatloads of Fanfiction). In universe, these people wear masks for a reason, so I figured Hiruzen wouldn't want to make it so blatantly obvious what was going on there.**

 **Anyway, next chapter will be the pre-exams meal and round one at least. Not sure if I'll go further until I write it and see how it looks.**

 **And with that we come to a close with this experience. Hope you enjoyed yet another chapter in the tales of the Humming Surgeon, until next time this is Yurei King signing out!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Greetings and Salutations readers! I apologize profusely for the delay in this, but I just had so much trouble getting the right feel for things I had going on in this chapter. Fair warning, there is a bit of an exposition dump going on in this chapter, but I hope you still like the bit of action I've got going on here.**

 **Naruto is going to get a bit dark so brace for that.**

 **Anyway, I'll address some stuff in the bottom AN so let's not keep you waiting any longer. ON WITH THE CHAPTER!**

 **XXXXX**

"I'm glad to see everyone made it here without issue," Hiruzen stood at the long table at the far end of the room. To his right stood a man dressed in robes similar to his own save for the fact that where his own bore marks of red his were a dark green. At the front tip the symbol it bore was that of the kanji for "Wind" as was befitting the man holding the title of Kazekage. To his left stood Jiraiya, arms crossed and feet shoulder width apart as he grinned broadly at the room's occupants.

Stretching out from the raised area the head table was placed upon was a single table set with fine tableware. On each side of that table stood the finalists for the Chunin Exams. They were joined by the members of their teams and all looked to their host whilst standing at attention and awaiting his next words. Fortunately, the man was not one to keep his audience waiting unless necessary, so he clapped his hands. "In a few hours' time, those among you that have earned their places in the exams shall face each other in the arena. But that time has not come just yet. For now, the only thing you need to think about is the meal we are about to share. Talk amongst yourselves, for you never know what you might learn." He clapped his hands again and took his seat, the men on either side doing the same whilst the rest of the room followed suit as soon as their leaders were settled.

Moments later, a group of servers stepped from doors in the corners behind the head table bearing trays of food. Various dishes, some of which were recognized others not, were brought in and placed on each table within easy reach of those sitting around them. One Naruto Uzumaki chose this moment to turn and finally get a good look at the teammates he hadn't seen for two months.

Immediately to his right was a raven-haired teen dressed in a shirt of the darkest blue that possible without qualifying as black with a collar high enough to just brush against his chin. He also noticed the bandages wrapped around each of his hands much like a certain champion of youth, but there were also black bands of some kind. "Nice to see Kakashi-sensei didn't bring you in late Sasuke."

"Hn," the addressed genin glanced at his blonde teammate out of the corner of his eyes as he began to place a serving of meat on his plate. "It was a close thing. If I hadn't set an alarm we might still be in the canyon."

"The faith you all have in my ability to be punctual is truly inspiring," chimed in a deadpan voice from Naruto's left as a silver-haired man looked at his students with his one uncovered eye. "What did I do to deserve such praise?"

"I'm going to guess just being your usual self Kakashi," a woman's amused voice commented from across the table. Its source was a woman sporting a unique pair of dark red eyes and long raven hair. Kurenai, the jonin captain of team eight, gave a cheeky smirk around the chopsticks she had just slipped between her crimson lips before winking at the chuckling Naruto and turning to listen to the excited Kiba as he began making gestures with his hand whilst talking with the ever-cheerful Choji about something his canine partner had done.

Meanwhile the captain of the sole competing team from Sunagakure actually chuckled from his place a few seats away. "A few of us in Suna have heard tales of the ever-late Copycat Kakashi," he said. "Seems to like appearing at his leisure, almost like a stray cat that wanders back home occasionally." This time Naruto laughed openly and then found himself having to be slapped on the back by the man he had been making fun of after some of his food got lodged in his throat. Baki simply shrugged and continued with his train of thought. "It's nice to know not all rumors you hear are just a waste of air. Something I'll have to remember."

The ice somewhat broken with the harmless banter, conversation broke out amongst the gathered party. Naruto ate quietly for a time before turning once again to the Uchiha and motioning toward his arm with one hand. "So, what's with the fashion accessories," he questioned.

Sasuke looked down at the bands before eyeing the beads around Naruto's own wrist. "I could ask you the same thing," he shot back with his ever-constant smirk. "I noticed you finally ditched most of the orange and hit your growth spurt. You're starting to look like real shinobi now."

"Hey, don't dis the orange teme," he jabbed his chopsticks at his teammate. "It had its uses."

"I'd like to hear em," both looked to the left to see that the puppeteer from Suna was leaning toward them. "That eyesore you were wearing had absolutely zero use from what I was seeing. It sure as hell wasn't any good for stealth, you stuck out like a sore thumb."

A blonde eyebrow rose. "Coming from a guy in a cat suit and makeup I find it hard to take anything you say about being inconspicuous seriously pal." The female member of the team snorted in the middle of sipping at her drink while the 'cat man' growled about war paint. "But let me ask ya something...look at me and Sasuke. If you were seeing us on a street coming toward you without our headbands which one would you expect to be the shinobi?"

Those within earshot and paying attention to the conversation looked between the two as requested. Where Sasuke seemed to be abiding his manners and dressed in what had become expected in the shinobi world nowadays, Naruto was completely different. With the straw hat, orange marked shirt and easy manner he looked more like a civilian…which made him a lot easier to overlook in such a setting as he just described. His grin stretched even further at the sight of eyes widening before glancing up to the table where Jiraiya gave him a nod, obvious pride visible in his expression as he raised a saucer in salute to his pupil. His gaze then traveled to farther down the table where a certain white-eyed male seemed to be ignoring everyone with his usual dismissive manner, simply eating his food. His grin fell into a more neutral expression as looking at the Hyuga brought more memories of the fight he witnessed to the front of his mind. "Getting someone to underestimate you is a handy trick." The target of his ire gave no indication he had heard this either, simply accepting a pepper shaker passed by the only other present member of his team. The kunoichi had explained earlier that their sensei was with their third member escorting him to the stadium. They would be arriving a little late thought.

The meal continued after that with conversation shared here and there, but none seemed aware that Naruto had his attention split between private matters. _So,_ he mentally projected to his roommate. _You getting anything further from the guy Aka?_ He glanced toward the redhead at the table as he ate quietly, not having spoken or been spoken to at all even once so far.

A growl lifted from the back of his mind at his question. _**"Why do you insist on calling me such things?"**_

 _I've told ya before, Kyubi just does not sound like a name._ He chewed the mouthful and turned to make some reply to something Kakashi had asked while letting said nine-tailed being ponder his words. _That's a title everyone else knows you by but I'm not gonna ask your name since we're not exactly friends either. Thus, until you give me something to use it's gonna be whatever I feel like calling you until then. Now focus please, are you getting anything from our guests?_

The growl sounded again, only this time followed by a resigned sigh. Something he had grown accustomed to hearing from his teachers so many times it didn't even faze the blonde as he waited. _**"There is a sense of…anticipation. Shukaku's host is obviously layered in bloodlust and battle craze to the point I can taste it, but his compatriots are…I'd say they have a level of hostility towards you though the children seem to be more along the lines of just following orders. That one with half his face covered though is burying true hostility beneath that sociable act of his. The same is true for the man sitting next to your precious grandfather. Both of them despise your people for some reason."**_

Naruto couldn't help the sigh as he pondered what he was told. The fox didn't have any ability to read minds unfortunately, the most he got was emotions and where they were directed. The stronger the emotion was felt the easier it was to discern. It sure made for an interesting visit to Hinata yesterday, the fox was laughing for at least an hour straight but refused to tell him anything, simply telling him it was something he'd have to figure out on his own. _Anything worth sharing about the others?_

" _ **The Uchiha brat is showing his own sense of anticipation though it's the variety of one looking forward to a good fight."**_

 _Kinda expected that since he's slotted to take on Gaara._

" _ **That is true and there is a great deal of it aimed at him but there is some directed at you as well."**_

That made Naruto pause chewing and steel a glance at his teammate out of the corner of his eye before forcing himself to continue. He heard the fox snickering at the shock but also couldn't deny he was looking forward to clashing with Sasuke himself. The guy had been this big personal milestone he'd set for himself ever since they first met in the academy so to know that little declaration from the brooding king of emo right before the preliminaries wasn't all bullshit was satisfying. He still planned on beating said king into the ground but now it would just feel even better now.

" _ **The shadow user just radiates irritation and boredom,"**_ the fox continued on his report. _**"Seriously I've never seen one of you ningen so unenthusiastic or simply dismissive before. Granted most humans I encounter only project hostility and terror before vanishing altogether."**_

 _Well you're not exactly one to inspire sunshine and rainbows roomie. Kami knows how I put up with you sometimes and we've been talking for a couple months._

" _ **And I have found that time to be complete torture for the most part although if you keep reading that story your newest teacher has written I might forgive you."**_

It took a monumental amount of willpower not to groan aloud at that statement. During the past week as part of his search for a hobby he had tried reading one of Jiraiya's books. What he had not accounted for was that the fox would not only be able to read it through his eyes, but even come to enjoy it!

 _I_ _ **still**_ _can't see why you would like that stuff,_ he growled mentally. _I didn't think the all mighty fox would care about the mating rituals of us lowly mortals._

 _ **The sex is not my draw though the detail he uses for it makes me wonder how well the pervert has…researched. He is a skilled writer and I find the all-around story to be rather enthralling."**_

A mental shake of the head was all he gave in response to that before turning his attention back to the outside world. As he did he momentarily caught the eye of Neji, his first opponent in the finals. Naruto tilted his head at the older genin in question, but only received a dismissive look before the teen looked back to his food. His partner, the bun-haired Tenten, seemed subdued considering her status as a loss against Temari but also slightly at ease. Naruto chalked it up to the fact the noisier members of that team were absent, he could understand that the two were even more intense than he was about life in general. Whiskered cheeks moved as lips formed a small frown thinking about Lee, but he forced a grin, sipped at his water and found himself being pulled into a conversation with Choji about food.

For another hour or so the meal continued on the same thread of activity, all enjoying the light foods which had been kept so due to the physical activity many of them were soon to engage in. It all came to an end when Hiruzen rose from his place at the head table, dabbing at the corner of his mouth with a napkin. "Well, I say this has been a rather successful light meal," he began with his grandfatherly manner in full swing. "I believe the idea to do this was a good one." He spared a moment to nod at the man at his left who returned it while stroking the full gray beard at the mild compliment before turning back to the group. "Now then, I shall introduce the proctor for the next stage of the event."

A wave of the hand towards the far end of the room had all eyes turning in the direction where a new man stepped out of the shadows of a corner. His clothes were the generic of Konoha's majority of jonin, a set of matching navy turtleneck and pants with the dark green flak jacket, but his headband was in the form of a bandana worn backwards so the tie rested on his forehead covering most of his dark brown hair save for what fell straight to the base of his skull in the back.

His entire body seemed relaxed, as if bored with the situation and he even had his hands in his pockets like he was just on a morning stroll. This was in complete contrast to the genin who all had tensed upon realizing he was there having been none the wiser to his presence. "Wow you kids are jumpy," he drawled around the toothpick between his teeth. Eyes brown as mud flicked over them all before looking back up to the Hokage.

"This is Genma Shiranui," he explained. "All contestants remain here as he will brief you on the proceedings. Everyone else, I suggest you find your seats in the stadium before the event begins. I trust you all wish to have a good vantage point after all." With that, the jonin and teammates filed out after wishing the fighters luck. Once they had all vacated the proctor stepped to the end of the table and addressed his charges.

"Alright sprouts," he grumbled and reached into his vest to pull out a folded slip of paper. "Like the boss said my name is Genma and I'm the one in charge of making sure we have a decent show going on. Don't expect any rules like fight fair or some dumb tourney stuff. We're shinobi, nuff said."

He paused to let the small chuckles pass through the group. "Now before we go into too much detail you probably already noticed there was a certain team missing from the supper. The team from Otogakure has withdrawn from the competition. Apparently, some kind of family emergency happened back in their village and they had to leave about a week ago. This, of course, means the lineup for the matches have changed a bit."

He unfolded the paper and showed them a new bracket list. "Not a whole lot has changed thankfully, but they did switch up a little of the fight order if not the fighters themselves. Naruto Uzumaki and Neji Hyuga are still the opening fight. Next up is Kankuro of Suna fighting Shino Aburame followed by Shikamaru Nara and Temari of Suna facing off. Finally, we have Sasuke Uchiha facing off against Gaara of Suna." He held it for a time before folding it up and slipping it back into his vest. "There'll be a thirty minute break after the first round, let the adoring public have their bathroom breaks and such and give the last fighter a chance to breathe before throwing em into the fray. I'll let the winners know who they're fighting then. Everybody got it?" When they all nodded he clapped sharply, smirking just slightly when a couple actually flinched. "Alrighty then! Line up and we'll go meet our adoring public.

He led the twin lines behind him down a hallway, and with each step Naruto felt the fluttering of his heartbeat beginning to grow. A quick glance to his teammate found them locking eyes for just a moment, blonde and black haired teens both smirking before turning to face forward when their guide and proctor called for a halt. He was standing in front of a closed door, hand up as a booming voice on the other end was heard.

"And that is why we are gathered here today!" Hiruzen seemed to be wrapping up one of his speeches on village unity and cooperation. "To show our people and those of the world what potential our next generation holds. For that reason, I ask that you welcome the Finalists for the Chunin Exams!"

"Smile for your future clients," was the last advice the swordsman offered before opening the door and stepping out into the sunlight beyond. They followed him out and stepped into the far end of a wide arena. Naruto figured it was big enough the Hokage's Mansion could have been built in it with a little space left between the walls and, save for a few clumps of trees, consisted of a flat, open area.

Surrounding the circular battleground was a wall of stone reaching at least three stories in height. Rows of seats stretched even higher from where the walls ended and provided a downward view for the countless spectators using them. And these spectators were cheering as if watching the greatest sport imaginable, shouting, stomping, clapping, etcetera. For one whose general interaction with the public could be boiled down to prank them, flip them off or ignore them glaring daggers in your back it was a bit off putting for Naruto. Still, he forced himself to maintain that smirk, hands in pockets and somewhat relaxed posture while his straw hat cast a shadow over his eyes until they reached the arena's center where Genma called them to a halt.

Hiruzen was standing in a spectator's box far above all in the area where Naruto could just barely see several people sitting. He could make out six others sitting making it at least seven when counting his surrogate grandfather figure and remembered Jiraiya stating something about the five greater Daimyo planning to attend. No doubt that meant their bodyguards were present as well.

The Sandaime raised his hands in a call for peace which the crowd slowly acquiesced to. "The young men and woman standing before you all are the finalists of this year's exam. They have succeeded in passing the tests placed in their path up to this point and soon shall show you all the fruits of their labors. It is with great pride that I, Hiruzen Sarutobi, Sandaime Hokage of Konohagakure, order the commencement of the final exams!"

Once again thunderous applause rained down upon the competitors while their proctor bowed and turned to face them. "Alright Naruto Uzumaki and Neji Hyuga are staying down here with me. The rest of you sprouts are to head up to the booth next to where the kage and daimyo are sitting. Your captains and teammates have seats there too, so you'll have someone to chat with while you're up there. I'll call you down when your turn is up so just kick back, have a snack if you manage to get hungry after just eating and enjoy the show while you can."

Everyone save the two designated by their proctor nodded and headed off while the combatants to be turned from each other to walk ten steps before facing again. Genma stood in the direct middle with one hand in pocket and the other raised above his head. "Alright rules are pretty much the same you got in the preliminaries. Go until I call a winner, your enemy is unconscious, dead or forfeits. Are the fighters ready?"

Naruto's hands came out of his pockets, one drawing the purple cane from its place hanging at his side. His left side turned away from his opponent, presenting a narrow target while raising the blunt weapon into a ready stance, left hand behind his back, a dueling stance ready to react at a moment's notice. He nodded to the proctor who looked to Neji.

The Hyuga took the stance of his clan's taijutsu style, feet spread, and knees bent for quick movement with open hands ready to unleash the deceptively simple strikes that could render his enemies unconscious or even dead should the situation require it. He had yet to activate the eyes of his clan, an obvious statement that he did not consider the blonde worthy of using them. He gave his own nod as answer and Genma raised his hand. "First Match! Naruto Uzumaki against Neji Hyuga—" the hand dropped "—Hajime!"

The brown-haired jonin leaped back to give the two space and watched them like a hawk for any sign of movement. Save for blinking, neither seemed ready to make the first attack just yet. Neji remained on guard, a coiled snake ready to strike at first provocation, but he was put off by the contemplative expression on his opponent. It was like he was trying to decide something.

Wanting to test the difference in this blonde compared to the loudmouth from the preliminaries he began moving to the side as if to circle him. Naruto followed, keeping the curious cane between them and his body poised for sudden action.

"I must admit to being surprised," the prodigy called across the distance between them. "After how you acted the last time we met and during our short time together in the academy I thought you would have launched yourself at me by now." He chuckled. "You were so enraged by my handling of my worthless cousin after all."

Eyes trained to keep up with the incredibly speed of his teammate easily noticed the twitch in Naruto's eye at the mention of her. "Here I thought I would be able to end this within only a few seconds." He shrugged. "No matter, my clan's **Juken** will see me to victory within moments of our clashing."

"Then why don't you quit talking and get your candy-ass over here," Naruto's rebuttal actually managed to throw off his opponent and he couldn't help the smirk on his face. "Yeah you heard me right pretty boy. Y'know your teammate is a real looker but with a face like yours I bet you could pass as a chick for undercover missions."

He paused, eyes squinting, and head tilted to the side as if considering it. "Yeah…throw a dress on ya, maybe a little makeup, and you'd be looking like an oasis to some very thirsty travelers." The head tilted to the other side, cane slapping into the extended forearm aiming to drive faintly glowing fingers into his throat. With a flick of the wrist he jammed the shepherds' crook-styled handle into Neji's sternum forcing the air from his lungs. The elder genin stumbled back, but still managed to dodge the kunai the hand Naruto had kept hidden until then had thrown. This all happened while Naruto's mouth continued without issue. "And that hair…I mean there's just so much to grab onto."

A quick step brought him close to Neji again and he stabbed forward with the cane as if jabbing with a sword. The Hyuga stepped back and slapped it away only to feel something grab the end of his hair and yank backward at the same time something that felt a lot like a foot struck his back knee. The joint collapsed sending him falling back with the momentum of the tug and he found himself on the ground looking up at a copy of the original. But instead of taking the opportunity presented by his prone status this one was looking at the hair in his grip confused. "Damn I think this is softer than some of the hair I felt on some girls! You must use some special shampoo." This Naruto crouched down next to his head and held up his unoccupied hand to cover his face from the crowd. "Could you tell me what it is? If I give this to a certain girl she might give me a reward if you know what I mean."

The chakra-primed jab to the blonde's face forced it to dispel in a cloud of smoke revealing its clone status and Neji's newly-activated Byakugan warned him of danger coming. He rolled aside just in time to avoid a trio of kunai catching him and using the momentum popped back onto his feet ready for another charge. But none came.

Instead, Naruto was standing with hands crossed on his cane, lips curled in that same insufferable smirk. "Actually, from what my new teacher told me he's gotten some really good information out of brothel workers. Maybe you could get some work there? Hell, with that rod all you Hyuga seem to have shoved up your entitled asses you've got to be used to that kind of thing."

"SHUT UP!" This time he closed the distance before Naruto could react and the satisfaction of hearing the choked gagging from the blonde as his chakra shredded his lungs was almost as good as the feeling of crushing the heir of the main house. Sadly, it is often when one is pausing to celebrate a victory that they are the most vulnerable. For that reason, he did not notice that the cane falling from his opponent's hands bursting to smoke until the foot coming from it slammed into his groin.

The gagging genin vanished and the newest spun on his hands, pulling his foot back from the wide-eyed Neji and building momentum for a spin kick that slammed into his cheek and sent him sprawling. Naruto pushed himself off the ground to create distance between them, landing with almost no sound and one hand bracing his straw hat to keep it from being flung off by the sudden move. "What's wrong pretty boy? Did I touch a nerve?" He chuckled. "Wouldn't want to damage that fragile ego of yours after all."

His stance relaxed, resting the shaft of the purple cane onto his shoulder as he watched Neji stand. He was covering the offended area, but Naruto paid more attention to the hand that had begun to clutch at his stomach. "Oh, got yourself a little tummy ache there pal?" When pale eyes turned to him in shock he watched the slow change in his expression from confused, to realization and finally to horror and was forced to suppress the urge to cackle like a stereotypical villain. "Did you eat something that didn't agree with you?"

"W-what—" a truly pitiful groan escaped his lips, pausing his questioning as he nearly collapsed again "—what did you…do?"

"Funny thing about the clones one can make with the **Kage Bunshin no Jutsu** ," Naruto seemed to ignore his question and assumed a demeanor as if he were a teacher explaining some important fact of life. "See it's nearly perfect in shape and form. Despite being made of chakra it weighs the same as its creator, it smells the same, and even feels like a real body on impact. But here's something I bet most who use it never thought of…if you combine the mental process of creating a **Henge** with that of forming a clone you can create a clone that's already in a new shape!" He grinned broadly while dropping the hand that had still been sitting on his hat and slipping the cane into his belt with the other, bringing them together to form the basic seal for activating what had become acknowledged as his signature among his team.

" **Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"** Before the indisposed Neji's eyes a new figure stepped from the cloud which birthed it and for a moment he forgot the agony his innards were inflicting upon him. Because the pretty brunette who appeared was dressed in exactly the same style as the servers from the meal he and the rest of the contestants participated in earlier. In fact, she was the one that had served him his food!

"Wha-but-how-what!?"

The 'girl' giggled, one hand covering her mouth. "Most people can't tell a shadow clone from a person because the chakra shell is so complete," the clone spoke in a perfectly feminine voice. "And that high-strength laxative I slipped into your meal was made specifically to be tasteless so patients in the hospital aren't so unwilling to take it."

The clone vanished with a cheeky wave, leaving what was now confirmed to be the original Naruto to shrug. "Honestly when I realized how far up that stick must've been shoved I thought I'd give you a little help getting rid of it." The smirk dropped into a frown and for a moment he showed Neji the anger and scorn he felt. "Next time you decide to blather on about how anyone is 'fated' to lose I want you to remember something Neji of the Hyuga Clan…I want you to remember that it was the dead last of the class who couldn't even make a passable **Bunshin** on his graduation test that left you shitting your pants in front of an audience including people from all over **Hi no Kuni** and our own Daimyo."

And just like that the smile was back and he looked to the slack-jawed Genma. "You might want to call the match now. He's not going to last much longer, and he may need help to get where he needs to be before it gets _really_ embarrassing."

The tokubetsu jonin looked to the other participant in the fight and found he had yet to stop clutching his stomach. His eyes then moved to the viewing box where Hiruzen met them with a nod. His orders clear, Genma raised his hand and called out loud enough his voice would echo through the stadium. "Neji Hyuga has been rendered unable to continue, Naruto Uzumaki moves on to the next round." A medical team rushed onto the field, helping Neji to stand and guiding him toward the door they came from only for everyone to pause when Naruto called out again.

"Hey Neji," his eyes turned back to see his tormentor again. "I was planning to give you something a lot worse. Thank your 'trash' cousin for getting off this lightly." With that he spun on his heel, jammed his hands in his pockets and began to hum whilst walking toward the door which the others had disappeared to after being dismissed from the field.

 **XXXXX – Kage Booth – XXXXX**

"Well that was rather merciless." The speaker was a thin man with an unfolded fan open before his face to cover his expression. Resting atop his dark hair was a large headpiece emblazoned with a small fireball, the symbol of office for the daimyo of **Hi no Kuni.** "I wonder if he treats all his opponents like that or if this one was special."

"This opponent in particular is of a type Naruto finds the most insufferable," Hiruzen explained to his Daimyo whilst sipping at the tea that had been placed by one of the serving staff assigned to their booth. "Heralded as a prodigy and seeing those they believe to be beneath them as nothing strikes a deep wound in his own past."

The man nodded, fanning himself against the warmth of the steadily climbing sun. "Still I can't help but applaud his ruthless tactics. Not something I have seen often during these events."

"Naruto has a tendency to think outside the box," was the Hokage's reply. "During the break I'll tell you about some of his more memorable pranks while in the academy. He is quite capable of turning things back on people."

"Say it straight sensei," the ever-boisterous Jiraiya threw back another saucer of sake from where he was sitting beside and a little behind Hiruzen in that manner often showing respect to those of station when amongst political company. "The kid has a wicked mind for turning enemy plans on their ass if you give him the time to think." He placed the saucer on the small table before him and for a moment his demeanor become serious. "From what he's told me, it's gotten him and his team out of a bad situation a few times now."

"Sound like you have a few stories yourself Jiraiya-kun," the daimyo mused as the crowd booed. Apparently, the puppet user from Sunagakure had just forfeited, meaning the young heir to the Aburame Clan was moving up to face Naruto in the next match. "I hope to hear them as well."

As Genma called for the next contestant the sage just nodded. "I'll be sure to tell them once we have a chance." While the conversation moved to other subjects, the old toad let his gaze wander a little to the side where the contestants were waiting their turns. He was just in time to see the blonde girl from Suna unfurling her fan, a wind of her own making kicking up and lifting the large weapon with her kneeling upon it to sail out over the arena. _'Impressive skill for a genin that young,'_ he mused, watching as he touched down with the ease and grace that gave evidence to the training behind such dismounts. He looked back to her take off point and found that the Nara heir was more eager than anyone who knew anything about that clan could have been expecting.

He didn't forfeit immediately and instead actually jumped down from the box, landing on the edge of the wall encircling the battleground and strolling with hands in pockets down the vertical surface. _'And it looks like the other stuff Naruto slipped in there is doing its job nicely. Now this match will give him a bit of time. Good luck kid.'_

 **XXXXX – Infirmary – XXXXX**

Instead of going to the competitors' box, Naruto had found a map of the stadium's interior posted on the wall and used it to find his way to the infirmary. After exchanging a few words with the nurse on duty he stepped through the cloth curtain hiding the patient area from view and found one of its occupants glaring at him with a level of hate he was familiar with.

"Have you come to gloat some more Uzumaki?" Neji demanded. "Come to rub in the fact you had to resort to trickery to best me? So desperate to change fate you would act without honor?"

Naruto didn't rise to the taunt, in fact, he wasn't even looking at the so-called prodigy. The swordsman in training was instead looking toward the room's other occupant. Lying with her eyes closed, chest rising and falling in that slow rhythm of breathing one adopts when unconscious, was Hinata.

"She was brought in during your match," the medical shinobi supplied as an explanation when he was asked by the blonde. He flipped a page on her chart and read the details. "Looks like the damage to her lungs she suffered at the hands of her cousin over there was agitated from stress. A few of the ruptures burst and she was brought her unconscious by her teammate." A glance was spared for the elder Hyuga who simply ignored it in favor of continuing in his attempts to glare a hole into the side of Naruto's head. The professional sighed before slipping the chart back into its slot at the foot of Hinata's bed. "Her father is reported to be attending the festivities. We've sent word about her condition. If you'll excuse me I have some stuff to prepare for if we need to see to another patient today."

"Thank you," he called to the departing adult, his eyes never wandering from watching the sleeping kunoichi. His hand rose, as if to touch her cheek, but instead he let it fall on the cane still hanging at his waist. From where he had been confined to his bed under threat by the medics, Neji watched with narrowed eyes. When it seemed that he would not be getting an answer to the question demanded when he first stepped into the infirmary, he decided to broach a different subject.

"You said…it was Hinata that kept you from using something worse than the laxative," he said. "How did she convince you?"

Naruto remained still for a moment longer, and then his head turned to look at his defeated opponent from the corner of his eye. "I went to visit Hinata yesterday," he began. "I told her what I was planning to do…and what I was going to slip you." From his pocket, the hand that had rested there drew a small vial of clear liquid. "This chemical, according to what I've read in medical texts, would have mixed with your blood and made it temporarily unable to absorb oxygen. You would have suffocated, the same fate Hinata would have suffered if the medics in the tower weren't as good as they were."

If the information itself hadn't have made Neji's blood run cold, the nearly emotionless manner in which it was delivered surely did the trick. He could find no words, could not utter even a sound, as he watched Naruto examine the small vial. "It was so easy to get too. I simply went to the slums in a basic disguise and stepped into this shady little apothecary. The old lady there was all too willing to help me out when I slipped her some extra coin."

"But—" blue eyes dropped down to the sleeping face again "—Hinata asked…no she _begged_ me not to go through with it. I couldn't understand it, you tried to _kill_ her, and she wanted to just _let it go!_ " The air seemed to shimmer around the genin, a slight tingle of charged energy dancing across the dark-haired youth's skin as he listened to the explanation. "I asked how she could care so much for someone so arrogant, so hateful, so…so fucking **stupid!** And then she told me about her uncle. A brave man who loved his brother so much he was willing to die that he might live. She told me about the kidnapping, about how Kumo's ambassador actually had the gall to sneak into her clan's home to steal her away in the night.

"How by sheer luck her father had felt uneasy that night and gone for a walk only to stumble upon the crime and with years as a veteran shinobi reacted on his training and slew the intruder. Kumo, of course, tried to turn this to their advantage and demanded the head of her father, who was willing to actually bend to that farce because the alternative meant war."

The vial was placed on the nightstand next to Neji's bed, Naruto moving to sit in the chair beside it as he finally met Neji's stare. "And then she told me about how her father had insisted she sleep in the same room as her parents after the event, worried a follow up attempt may happen since they figured Kumo might believe they would feel secure in stopping the first and thus may get arrogant. They, of course, did not."

Naruto paused there, looking again to Hinata with a contemplative expression while Neji could only stare wide-eyed. He was having trouble associating the cold, distant head of his clan with the concerned father he was being told about. Though, when he actually did think about it, it did make sense. From what Neji remembered of his early childhood, Hiashi had been a bit standoffish and proper, but he laughed with his wife and had shared advice with him at times during training. But, after the death of his wife due to complications in labor…he had changed.

What had once been familial closeness tempered with strict etiquette became cold logic and stern hand of discipline. "One night—" the genin's story suddenly continued, jolting the Hyuga from his considerations to look back at the speaker "—Hinata was woken from her sleep by angry voices. Afraid and curious at the same time, she stumbled out of the room past her sleeping mother and toward the door of her father's study. Through the shoji she could hear her father arguing, with her uncle and grandfather…and the Hokage."

"I was willing to go through with the demands of Kumo," a voice cut in before Naruto could continue. Heads turned in shock as man stepped into the room. He was tall, and like Neji was deceptively slim of frame with long black hair falling in a curtain down his back. Over the traditional robes of his clan, the patriarch wore a dark green haori. "The idea of using the body double was actually Hokage-sama's because he knew of our clan's seal that prevented the Byakugan from being taken from members of our branch family. Hizashi was my mirror in all but that mark so it would have been an easy ruse to pull off."

"But I refused. I would not sacrifice my brother for such a thing and had already ordered our sealmaster prepare to remove his seal and place one on myself. I thought it an adequate move, for Hizashi was as strong as myself in our clan's style and he had sired an heir of great potential." Pale, pupiless eyes turned to the girl lying still asleep in her cot. "More so than I believe either of my daughters would possess. However, the elders used their right of veto to overturn my decision as head of the clan and before I could do anything…Hizashi used my anger and lowered guard to land a Juken strike to my stomach."

"As my consciousness faded, I heard my brother whisper in my ear words I will never be able to forget even if I manage to live to the age when senility takes me. He told me he didn't give a damn about the clan keeping its structure or anything like that. He was saving his brother from death…and finally choosing his own fate for the first time in his life."

The patriarch of the Hyuga Clan met the once-again shocked gaze of his nephew, the teenager that had loathed him for his place in life and blamed him for his father's death. And then, he did something that would really shake the boy to his core. He knelt to the floor and leaned forward to press his forehead to the cold tiles. "I am so sorry I failed to protect your father," they heard him say. "And I am sorry that I couldn't get up the courage to tell you the truth until now."

A heavy silence fell over the room, that was immediately shattered as Naruto stood from his chair with an uncomfortable expression. "Look, this is obviously a personal family matter. Something you shouldn't have an observer for. I've pretty much said my piece, so I'll give you some privacy." As he stepped to leave, he stopped at the curtain and looked back to his fellow genin. "Hey Neji…if I didn't fight against what people told me all my life, I wouldn't be wearing this headband at all—" he tapped the metal plate covering his forehead to emphasize the point "—so don't let yourself be defined by other people alright? I believe you'll be a lot happier that way." Without waiting to hear a response he stepped through the curtain and waved to the nurse on duty as he continued out into the hall planning to join the other competitors and hopefully catch the end of Shikamaru's match.

Unfortunately, it seemed life had other plans. As he turned a corner to the staircase he found Shino stumbling down towards him, an unconscious Kiba draped over his shoulders in a fireman's carry. Without thinking he leaped the remaining distance and pressed a finger to the wild child's throat, only slightly relaxing when he found a steady pulse. "What happened?"

"When Hinata collapsed an Anbu provided emergency treatment," the ever-stoic teammate of Kiba's replied. "He then ordered Kiba to carry her to the infirmary, but I became suspicious after he took far too long to return. I excused myself and went to investigate, finding him unconscious and was carrying him to the infirmary myself and now we have met here."

Naruto nodded and thinking quickly pulled a small scroll from the pouch at his hip. "His pulse is normal," he explained while unraveling the length of paper. "His breathing isn't labored, in fact it looks like he was just knocked out." One thumb was pressed against his incisor and sharp pain followed before he pressed the now-bleeding appendage to the seal he'd revealed. A small pack appeared from the smoke that billowed out and after a brief search pulled out a small mesh tube with what looked like cotton stored inside. Naruto bent the tube, resulting in a faint crackling of something inside. "Put him down."

Shino complied, resting his teammate on the ground positioned to sit up against the wall. Akamaru, ever close to his partner's side, moved up to paw at Kiba's leg, a concerned wine in his throat. "Inuzuka have sensitive noses," they heard Naruto recite aloud. "I suggest you back up, he may react violently to this." The Aburame only had enough time to take a single step backward before the smelling salts were held under Kiba's nose. Moments later that hand was jerked back with a fresh bit mark and the blonde yowled in pain from the sudden action. "Dammit! Biting man? Seriously!?"

"Ugh kami what the hell!?" Kiba paid no mind to the pain he had just inflicted, both hands covering his nose as he tried to breathe after inhaling such a strong smell. "What the hell was that?"

"Smelling salts ya asshole! Dammit I'm actually bleeding! How sharp are your teeth?"

Kiba made to give some retort, no doubt layered in vulgarity as his clan was infamous for doing, but a hand was firmly clamped over his mouth, its twin doing the same to Naruto's. "Amusing as it is to see you to trying to out curse the other," Shino's calm voice grabbed their attention, and both focused upon the spectacled visible half of their fellow genin's face. "I do believe we need to know what happened to you Kiba."

Surprisingly to Naruto, the brash, headstrong Inuzuka visibly restrained himself in the face of his more composed teammate and eventually sighed. "Yeah you're right Shino. Sorry about the hand Naruto," he rubbed his face, focusing better now that he'd had some time to actually wake up. "Kind of a knee-jerk reaction."

"It's fine," Naruto grumbled whilst wiping away the little bit of blood to reveal skin already closing up. "Lucky for me that I heal pretty fast, so we'll just chalk this up to me getting a little life lesson. Next time sacrifice a clone to waking people up."

"A wise decision I believe," Shino acknowledged before addressing Kiba again. "Although a topic we can cover later, considering you have yet to tell us what happened to leave you unconscious on the floor.'

"Yeah, well I dropped Hinata off at the infirmary like that Anbu said. The nurse there said the emergency treatment she'd gotten was enough to save her from any further issues and she just needed rest, so I came back. I ran into the guy on the way, so I stopped to thank him and let him know, but…Akamaru was alerting to him." When all eyes drifted to the mentioned pooch they got a nod and bark which Kiba took in stride. "Yeah he was saying his scent was familiar but before I could do anything else that Anbu guy slapped his palm into my chest and that's the last thing I remember until someone put that shit under my nose."

Naruto frowned, that didn't seem right at all. Stroking his chin in thought he didn't say a word for a moment, before nodding to himself. "Kiba…is that Anbu's scent on you by any chance?" If the situation were not as serious as he believed it to be, the blonde would have laughed at the sight of the teen smelling himself.

"Yeah his smell is on my jacket, looks like he set me down carefully, so I wouldn't fall hard and draw attention."

"Good, alright I've got an idea." His thumb was bitten in the next second and without a word to either of the two others he formed the chain of signs he had practiced during the entirety of the training period and slapped the ground with the bloody hand. A small puff of smoke later and the three boys and single dog were joined…by a toad a little larger than Akamaru.

The red amphibian blinked, taking a moment to look around. When his eyes locked onto Naruto still crouching where he'd performed the summoning his wide lips spread into a grin. "Heya Naruto," he waved. "We hanging out again?"

"Not this time Gamakichi," the blonde replied while fishing a small peppermint from his pocket. Handing it over to his friend his expression turned serious again. "I've got a little errand I need ya to run." He explained everything that happened with Kiba finally chiming in when he got over the oddness of what he was seeing. "You said you've got a pretty good schnoz, so I was hoping you could get a whiff of the guy and then go tell the ol' perv while we tell our captains."

"That's easy enough, where is he?"

"Last I saw he's up rubbing elbows in the VIP box." The toad's eyes lit up and Naruto couldn't help but chuckle. "Keep the mooching to a minimum alright? There's supposed to be a daimyo or two up there."

"Which means the food will be top notch!" Gamakichi declared and set off without waiting for further instructions. "Oh, I'm _definitely_ gonna hold this over 'Tatsu's head!"

"Sooo," Kiba's drawl cut through the awkward silence, snapping Naruto out of his exasperated staring after his messenger. "You have a summon contract now?"

"Yeah, ran into an old perv at the hot springs and he knocked out my tutor, so I strong-armed him into teaching me for a bit."

"It would seem the rumors of Jiraiya's vices are not mere conjecture or exaggeration as I first suspected." When they glanced at Shino, who had just voiced his opinion, the teen shrugged. "Jiraiya is the only known summoner contracted to the toad clan still alive and he is a member of our shinobi corps. He is also infamous as both a powerful combatant and incredibly obsessive pervert. He is also author of the Icha Icha series which is quite popular among male and female readers alike, though females often seemed less willing to admit such. Thus, when you summoned a toad it is only logical that this pervert you met was none other than Jiraiya himself. I can only deduce that you must have found some way to earn his intrigue and respect enough to warrant sharing such a useful ability as a summoning contract."

"…Thanks for the explanation Shino," Naruto seemed to take that in stride, something that had Kiba looking at him a little surprised since it took a while for him to get used to his teammate's habits. "Anyway, we should head for our own booth."

Without another word the group set off, thankfully not getting lost as Naruto had not been to the booth yet and thus wasn't sure of the way. Benefits of being in the company of trackers in training, that already had been to the box of course. When they stepped out of the hallway and into the open once again, it was just as the crowd was beginning to cheer. Curious, Naruto stepped up to the edge and looked down.

Standing in the middle waiting for his opponent was the other male genin of Team Seven. With hands on his hips and sporting the same cocky assurance he was known for, Sasuke looked ready to get started. That smirk grew just a little wider when movement from the wall down below drew his eye, Gaara had stepped onto the field. The two ignored the cheering crowd, only having eyes for each other as the sand user continued his calm pacing toward his foe, taking up the position across from him as indicated by their proctor.

"Alright you two, same rules apply so I won't bother repeating em for now. Are both fighters ready?"

Sasuke shifted from his relaxed posture, stance widening slightly, body poised like a spring ready to pop into action at the slightest hint of provocation.

Gaara crossed his arms, sand already rising from his gourd and dropping to the floor in a roiling mass of tan.

Both nodded, and Genma raised his hand. "Fourth Match, Sasuke Uchiha and Gaara Sabaku…Hajime!"

 **XXXXX—Cut—XXXXX**

 **Crappy Cliffhanger for the win!**

 **Yeah, I probably could have gone on through this match, the reporting and kicking off the invasion, but I'd kept you guys waiting for longer than I wanted to already, so I decided instead of risking losing all my work with another laptop malfunction because I was taking too long and nitpicking I found a decent cutoff point and here we are.**

 **Now like I said in the opening AN Naruto was a bit dark with how he handled Neji and what he was planning to use. In my head it kinda worked out that Naruto, with his circumstances, should not have developed into such an idealist. Hated, scorned and mistreated for years he would have cherished any level of friendship he could get and protect them viciously. The sudden kindness of Hinata giving him that ointment, plus the fact she tried so hard only to get repeatedly insulted by her own family was something that would have set him off.**

 **Not to mention the fact Neji simply dismissed him, just like everyone else when he was growing up. I could see this triggering Naruto a bit, so he decided to make Neji suffer, but toned it down when Hinata explained a bit. But he was still going to humiliate at the prick.**

 **This is just my opinion, I do not have a degree in psychology, so I couldn't possibly begin to explain whether it's true or not just that it's how it worked in my brain.**

 **Also, who's to say Naruto was being honest with Neji in what that would have done? Nobody but myself, Arashi and Naruto know for sure :P**

 **Terms I used some may not know or recognize:**

 **Aka –** according to what sites I looked at is the Japanese word for Red. Probably a little condescending calling him by the fur color but it's a part of canon that Naruto has never been much for naming things, so I tried to think of something he would have called Kurama since he doesn't know his name.

 **Shoji –** from what I read this is the proper term for the door, window or room divider consisting of translucent paper over a frame of wood which holds together a lattice of wood or bamboo that we see in traditional Japanese homes in either real life or anime.

 **Haori –** according to almighty Wikipedia a haori is a traditional Japanese hip- or thigh-length kimono-style jacket, worn over a kosode. On Hiashi's page of the Naruto wikia it said the dark robe he wore over the rest of his clothes was a haori.

 **And that's the story for today folks. I hope you enjoyed and I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can. Though I'm trying to get Shaman's new first chapter out and working on the next one for my Ben10 fic so once again sorry if it takes a bit.**

 **Thanks for coming everyone and hope the rest of your day goes well, this is Yurei King signing out! SEE YA NEXT TIME!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A POLL IS UP!**

 **Now that I have your attention I bid fond Greetings and Salutations for Everyone!**

 **Yes, I know this is not an update and you most likely had all your hopes up which I feel like an utter donkey dashing now. Though if you do ask me I can be rather dashing.**

 **Dumb comments aside, I forgot to add a little notice to the bottom of the previous chapter, so I am putting it here. As of a few minutes before I post this notice, a poll shall have been added to my account.**

 **The purpose of this poll will be to gather your thoughts on the future inheritor of the powerful art of kenjutsu known to all as: Santoryu.**

 **Yes, dear readers! I am seeking your input to decide who shall wield the art made infamous by the moss-haired swordsman himself.**

 **I do this because I find myself torn on picking and thought you might be able to lend some thoughts on it. See, those who have read my original work know I introduced a female Suigetsu into the mix with obvious intention to pair said girl with Naruto.**

 **I didn't receive a lot of positive feedback so when I had started the rewrite I dropped her and the scene of her debut. Since then I've gotten a few reviews that said they had liked the idea originally and it was what drew them in the first place.**

 **So I've considered bringing her back but doing some work on her and then I've thought of a couple others that could be good for taking up the role as well. So Arashi and I made a list and decided to get your input on all of it:**

 **Karui** – she's a fiery redhead with already established sword skills. I think it'd be interesting to have her learn the style, plus I just happen to like her character.

 **Kin –** Yugao and Hayato can tutor her and she'd already be interested in Naruto thanks to the fact he saved her.

 **FemSuigetsu –** for this one I have a model to build after now. I recommend looking up Gisen Yagyu from Hyakka Ryouran: Samurai Girls. If this one is the poll winner, I shall be basing her off of this character model. She will be a cousin to Suigetsu and the original will still be around.

 **And there you have it folks, those are our three options. The ones dancing in my head and Arashi helped me get them set up. I thought about letting the original Suigetsu get a spot but that'll depend on what reactions I get.**


End file.
